Thursday, February 28, 2008

Prince To Have Hip Replacement Operation?

Alleged reports that pop star Prince has outgrown his own hipness seen to have been true, as this morning the Purple Rain singer checked into a British hospital to undergo "Hipness Replacement Surgery."

"It's a very complicated procedure," said Dr. Phinius Fogg of London's Secret Celebrity Hospital (SCH/St. George's), "but it's effects can benefit the "Under The Cherry Moon" star till long after his hopefully meaningful death."

Prince first hit the music scene in the late 70s with a fresh pop/soul sound. The star had a string of hits and a movie career in the 80s, but by the mid-90s had settled into an adult contemporary rut. "We knew it was critical when 'I Wanna Be Your Lover' was being played on WPLJ. I mean, that song's about sex!" said Suzanna Hoffs, long-time lead singer of The Bangles, and friend of the Prince family. "You should have seen Prince's face! It was like all {at this point Hoffs started making many odd facial expressions, most of which cannot be shown here because we were conducting a phone interview}."

Prince attempted a recovery of his hipness in the 2000's with three mediocre albums, most of which didn't get above a 6.0 on Pitchfork. As more and more time passed, it was obvious the once could-do-no-wrong Prince would need some kind of boost to regain what he once had hipness-wise.

Dr. Fogg wouldn't give any other information on the "Graffiti Bridge" star's current state after the operation, but did say that he hopes to get Prince "out and hip again" before Stereogum's next best of the year list.

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