Larry The Cable Guy-Politician

Arkansas governor Mike Huckabee has stated that Americans want politicians to be more like Larry The Cable Guy, because of his "Git-R-Done" catchphrase and attitude.

Note, he did not say he thinks Larry The Cable Guy should be a politician but rather that politicians should model themselves after the ideology that the character created by Dan Whitney preaches.

"Sometimes I think we need [a] Larry The Cable Guy running for office so we can just 'Git-R-Done' because that's what people really want out of us. They want competence. They want us to accomplish something,...I don't think the average voter is as ideological as he or she is practical."

Interesting. And not a surprise, since if you were to ask the people of Arkansas what comedians they can relate to most (and probably trust most) no doubt many will state Larry The Cable Guy and his blue-collar sense of humor.

Comedians and politics aren't two paths that haven't been crossed before. Prop-comic Gallagher tried running for Governor of California in their recall election. Doug Stanhope seems to be somewhat serious of his intentions to possibly run for President on the Libertarian Party ticket in 2008. Howard Stern (I know, not a comedian, but a shock jock that can be funny) tried running for New York City Mayor before. And lets not forget the obvious, the constant calls for either (or both) Jon Stewart and Stephen Colbert to run for President based solely on the reasoning that they can read jokes about the news and politics off a script that were created by a bunch of professional comedy writers, sometimes without Stewart or Colbert's involvement at all. As Mad Magazine put it perfectly in issue ..467: "no appearance by a pandering politico is complete without the kiss-ass suggestion that Jon Stewart should enter politics. At which point, the same studio audience that doesn't think George W. Bush is qualified to handle his job, happily explodes at the notion of being represented by Adam Sandler's roommate in Big Daddy."

What is it about people trusting comedians more? Is it because they quote-unquote "tell the truth"? Is it because they say things most other people would never dream of saying? Is it because politicians are fools anyway, so as Gallagher put it, why not put a professional in that position? Maybe. I'd like to think that it has to do with the power of comedy. I'd like to think that people realize that via comedy, one can tackle a serious topic, and put it in a perspective where the absurdity of it is clear to everyone. More or less, the main purpose of satire. I'd like to think that people realize sometimes that only via comedy can anything truly be said.

Is that what Huckabee is saying? Is he claiming that politicians should be more like comedians in the sense that they tell the truth and cut the bullshit? No, I don't think so. I think he's implying that they would somehow get the job done faster (something, that no one can accomplish, unless you're Michael Douglas or Martin Sheen or possibly James K. Polk). Just because comedians can shine some light on a subject doesn't mean that the whole nation will agree with him or her on it. It doesn't mean that bills become law faster. All it means is that we'll have David Cross as our Press Secretary.

The "Git-R-Done" ideology Huckabee is ascribing to suggests they'll get the work done faster, and that's what people want. Well, it's a nice idea...won't happen.

It's fitting this comes up the same week when Robin Williams and Lewis Black's comedy "Man Of The Year", about a Jon Stewart-like comedian who runs for (and wins) the Presidency opens in box offices. Watch and see how he won't accomplish anything faster.

Whatever Nugent wants, Nugent gets.

Something strange happened a few minutes ago. I was eating lunch (not the strange thing) and I was flipping through channels for something on TV (still not the strange thing). Alas, there was nothing on, so I settled for the short-attention span programming of VH1 Classic. I figured I could probably catch a few old music videos or performances that I haven’t seen in a few years (or rather since the last time I turned on VH1 Classic). All normal. But here's what was strange: The video that came on was Damn Yankees "High Enough". Now, the fact that that video was being played on VH1 Classic was not the weird part (though I would argue this is no 'classic'), but what was was the fact that I just sat there staring at the screen...almost hypnotized by their 'sensitive metal band music'. I'm not quite sure why.

Now a lesser writer would make an allusion that this hypnotism must have been what kept most of the world loving bands like Stryper in the 80s. Naw, that’s a hack point...anyone who hears it knows this music sucked, we don’t need to drive it into the ground with impossible justifications. It was bad, you know it, I know it. In my early high school days I listened to a great deal of it (I'm sorry before I had taste I was into hair metal); now I can’t stand it. Normally when it comes on, I jump for the remote to turn it off. For some reason though, I didn’t for "High Enough".

Something in the video did something to me. It can't be the song...I’m past that point in my musical tastes (at least I think)...Damn Yankees isn't even good enough to listen to ironically. It's not the band itself, consisting of guitar virtuoso Ted Nugent, Styx guitarist Tommy Shaw and Night Ranger's Jack Blades. All of them have done superior work in their original bands, and Damn Yankees was just a way to cash in on the supergroup craze alongside crap bands like Asia and Bad English and the normally-respectable Traveling Willburys. It had to be the video. What was it about the video?

The video makes no sense what-so-ever. It starts with a "typical 80s hair metal vixen" (on loan from the band Vixen) leaning up against a waiting police cruiser, asking a lazing cop what all the commotion is. The very Southern cop responds: "Its just dem Damn Yankees". Then a young man runs past the oblivious sheriff and into a house (which I assume the cop was suppose to be stopping him from doing) and is followed by two other police cruisers carrying more police officers than one could possibly hold. They look mad. Lets see why!

As the cops line up their guns against a cop car, intending to I assume drive the suspect out, the video fades to black and white with the band in the house, looking out windows and getting worried. Then the music starts.

Now, I'm confused. Is the band supposed to be representing the young suspect? Are they hostages? Was this their house he ran into? Are these his associates? Is he their manager? Something doesn’t exactly make sense here.

The rest of the video tells the young man's story, or rather, his girlfriend's story. Apparently he robs liquor stores (presumably more than one) while his girl drives the get-a-way car. They're obviously not too bright, as they both do this with their picture perfect 80's video faces uncovered in broad daylight. Eventually, while making-out, they get caught. (One tuning into this video half way through will think it's message is that if you kiss someone, you'll get arrested. How will you explain this to your mother?) Anyway, they run, she gets caught, he pauses, but keeps on running, showing that he's a heartless bastard, yada yada yada. Meanwhile all this is intercut with video of the band playing in front of gas pumps and Ted Nugent being a camera hog.

The video then jumps back to the beginning as the police finally open fire onto the house (lots of fire...more than is probably necessary). What does the young suspect inside do? Nothing...Instead Ted Nugent busts down the door and appears to defeat them with a Nugent guitar solo (seems reasonable). All this time, the cops are still firing at Nugent and the house. What do they hit though? Beer cans. Lots and lots of beer cans.

So now the girls in jail, the police rush into the house, Tommy Shaw shows off his crucifix earrings, and Nugent hogs the camera more. The video ends with one of the most puzzling sequences I’ve ever seen...the girl is meeting with a Priest, and then being lead down death row to be executed. What? Huh? I mean, I've seen "My Cousin Vinny" a number of times, I've heard their court systems in the South may not be fair, but execution for robbing a liquor store? Hell, she was just the driver! She didn’t even do the robbery. The message I’m getting out of this part of the video is that all of Damn Yankees didn’t pass high school government.

The last image of the video is hysterical. We see now that the Priest was in fact, Ted Nugent. And once again, he's a ham for the camera.

This whole video just blows my mind. What the hell is it trying to say? Stay out of the South? Don't drive a car? A Nugent guitar solo can defeat an army of police? It's full of mixed messages. I'm sure it doesn’t help that the song is a ballad about breaking up, and is placed up against a video about robbing liquor stores.

I'm looking over the lyrics to the song now. Wow, honestly, they might be some of the worst lyrics I've ever read. Here they are.

After the video was over, another Damn Yankees video came on. I didn’t even know they had more than one song. It wasn’t much better, but at least it didn’t try to include a plot line. What the hell was wrong with us pre-Nirvana?

The video can be found here.

Can't Kazakh-stand him!...that’s the worse pun ever.

It's nice to know that with all the shades of grey and questionable set morals in the world, there are still stupid people that are just outright idiots.


Doesn't the Kazakhstan government realize that their complaints on this matter only make them look worse than Sacha Baron Cohen ever did?

They find Borat offensive to their country's reputation...I guess I could understand that...it's just like New Yorkers finding Andrew Dice Clay offensive to the city’s reputation...of course we don't sit here and complain about it...we just let him hang himself with a noose of his own idiocracy and hope that everyone else in the world is one ounce smarter than his character and realizes that ain’t New York.

I mean, I hope everyone realizes that Clay does not talk like New Yorkers...we don't talk in Nursery Rhymes all the time...we just make fun of your mother. Oooooooh!

Random acts of Revenge

From the AP/Yahoo News:

"SYDNEY, Australia - At least 10 stingrays have been killed since "Crocodile Hunter" Steve Irwin was fatally injured by one of the fish, an official said Tuesday, prompting a spokesman for the late TV star's animal charity to urge people not take revenge on the animals. "


HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

I don’t think I even need to say anything more. That was one of the greatest opening paragraphs ever.


ok, one more:

"He said killing stingrays was "not what Steve was about.""

No, apparently he was into hunting crocodiles. That was his name wasn't it?

A Million Ways to say nothing

I just watched a news article on CBS on the Ok Go video for "A Million Ways".

The report "brought to light" the low budget filmmaking done on the video (with a home video camera and a $5 tape), and "reported" that it is the most downloaded video on Youtube. The report then went on to "reveal" that the internet has been a great source of information and an excellent way to promote a band, as the band in question has done.

First things first, just to not be the only blog in the world that hasn't linked to this video yet, here is Ok Go's "A Million Ways" video:

Next: Is CBS really that out of touch? First off, the use of "home video cameras" to achieve a cheap and homemade look is nothing new. In fact, there have been videos like this since before MTV even existed. Secondly, Since when does the news report what is the most downloaded video on Youtube? Thirdly: "They have the internet on computers now?"

Honestly, I don't know why a low budget video (albeit a very cool one that I enjoyed both the visuals and the song itself) by a band that isn't even new (what is it, like 4 years since Ok Go first arrived?) that has been shown on the internet (we'll forget that I saw it on FUSE just yesterday) is news?!?! Further, if they really wanted to report on this video, didn't it come out over a month ago?!?!?!

The real story here (if there is one at all) is that Youtube allows people to distribute videos and other moving images for free over the internet. Hell, that's not even news.

Now I know why people really watch "The Daily Show" to understand what's happening in the world.


On a lighter note, the video is great, but I still think the best part is the guy in the red vest who can't keep rhythm (a great thing for a band) so they keep on sticking him in the back. He's apparently the drummer...even better. Well, i guess every band needs a Michael Anthony.

Snoop Doggy Dogg in the Dog House

MTV has come under fire for an episode of their show "Where my dogs at?" which featured 2 women on all fours with dog leashes around their necks being walked by a parody of Snoop Dogg. Many critics have come out and... well, criticized the episode.

They claim that the episode was degrading to women. MTV claims that it was based on a real life incident involving Snoop Dogg.

I haven't seen this episode (in fact, I hate the show, but that's another story), but I can't help but wonder about these groups that are claiming this show was degrading to black women...they're obviously looking in the wrong place.
Fuck the cartoon; have any of these people seen a music video? Go tell me women aren't being "degraded" in 3 out of 5 rap videos. Go tell me they're not being reduced to sex objects and "Sexy scenery."

Now, since this was apparently based on a real incident where Snoop Dogg arrived somewhere with 2 girls wearing dog collars, I have to ask another question...Did the writers get the Dogg/Dog reference? I'm not sure if even Snoop was being degrading to women...I think he was using a pun (he's big on those if you haven't realized.) Now granted that's not a free pass to do whatever he wants in that area (Calling his female collar wearing entourage bitches is humorous at first, but is probably bordering on wrong), but it's not like he was (as in the cartoon) having them walk on all fours and cleaning up their shit.

Yeah, that's all I have to say.

I should devote another blog post to one of the dog voices on that show, Jeffrey Ross and how his career has gone completely down hill.

Being the Everyman is overrated

The film critics for the New York Times occasionally put out an article that provides intelligent insight into film theory. This article is no exception. I urge everyone to read With a Great Wink, Films Like 'Click' Trumpet One Message but Mean Another.

The article gives a few examples of where this is used in Hollywood, but falls short of pointing out that this is just their marketing trend. Almost every Hollywood movie does this.

But you don't need me to point that out for you, I'm sure you came to that conclusion yourself.

This thing I wanted to talk about with this article is the information that is given at the end: "Click" in it's opening weekend did better than "Eternal Sunshine On The Spotless Mind" in it's entire United States run. That is just sad.

I was at a College Graduation BBQ yesterday for a good friend of mine and one of the conversations that came up was movies. My friend, who's known me and my tastes for a little under ten years told me that I must see "Click" because it's the "funniest movie ever".

First, I admit I haven't seen "Click" yet, nor do I plan to. All speculation on this movie is made via previews, professional movie reviews and friends reviews. Secondly I have to admit that Adam Sandler has made some ridiculously funny movies in the past, and I've enjoyed them ("Billy Madison", "Happy Gilmore", "Big Daddy", etc) so the suggestion of an Adam Sandler movie to me is not the most horrible idea ever, but one has to admit, his movies ain't what they used to be.

Alright, the fact that people have made a movie like "Click" just shows how much good screenplays mean to Hollywood: Nothing. The fact that hack writing is considered the norm, and what people want to see is just horrible. Yes, I know the theory that sometimes people just want to see a "safe movie" or one that doesn't extract too much emotion either way out of someone, and to an extent I can understand that. But how can one sit through mindless bullshit?! "Billy Madison" was a safe movie, and was funny. But unlike newer Sandler fare like his interpretation of a Hollywood classic "Mr. Deeds" (ok, not so much new)"Billy Madison" was cleverly written and just outright absurd. Sandler played a slacker who was worth nothing, and not only won the girl and had fun (and learned a lesson blah blah blah) but also related to its audience and got us on his side. He did this all without using pure stock characters and falling into the mindless gap known as clichés. "Mr. Deeds" on the other hand had him playing a ready-made charming underdog who we knew from the beginning was going to get the girl. No lesson needed to be learned because he was already perfect, it was just the world around him that was insane. His biggest flaw was his black foot, which as we remember was used to his advantage. Yes, I know Sandler was playing the same role as Gary Cooper's version of the Everyman Mr. Deeds in "Mr. Deeds Goes to Town" but that's no excuse to make garbage. Hell, even the original was pure Hollywood smaltz, but at least I saw somewhat of a heart in it. Sandler's version was just garbage to keep him fresh in the public's image...I mean it wasn't as if the amazing "Punch Drunk love" didn't just finish it's theatre run, and "Eight Crazy Nights" wasn't about to come out two months later...oh wait.

Ok, this was supposed to be about "Click", right? Yeah...now this trend with Hollywood of course isn't just in Adam Sandler movies, but everywhere...I guess we can't stop that, because apparently it's what the people want. The fact that my friend not only suggested this movie to me, but also proclaimed it the "Funniest movie ever" is just outright sad. People want to see shit. Meanwhile gold like "Eternal Sunshine" is deemed "boring" by the masses. I don't know what to do anymore...nobody wants to work to understand a movie, nobody wants to learn anything, all anyone wants anymore is to be that everyman who from the beginning is predestined to get the girl and not change for the better at all.

Oh, and John Turturro's character was hysterical.