Saturday, November 29, 2008

Quote Of The Day

2 girls talking to each other in the Law School where I work.

Girl 1: Hey, listen, it's finals time. Stop wearing makeup and put on some sweatpants. You're making the rest of us look bad.

Girl 2: Ha...I'm not wearing any makeup--

Girl 1: You're wearing eyeliner! I can see it!!!

At ten in the morning on a Saturday, it's the little things that amuse me.

Tuesday, November 4, 2008

Live From New York...It's a Concession Speech!

It's time for a post I have been planning since McCain received the Republican nomination.

John McCain will not win the Presidency of the United States of America.

Want to know why?

Because he hosted Saturday Night Live.

You're looking at me crazy right now, I know. Let me see, SNL has a curse...a POLITICAL curse.

Every politician that has hosted SNL, has gone on to lose a presidential election (or nomination).

Let's start with recurring Presidential Candidate Ralph Nader. Nader hosted the show on January 15, 1977. He then lost nominations for President in 1992, and 1996, and achieved the Green Party nomination in 2000, and Independent Party nominations in 2004 and 2008. He lost all three times.

"Well, Nader had no chance of winning, that's why he lost..."
Maybe, but let's move on:

Jesse Jackson. Hosted October 20th, 1984. He went on to lose the Democratic nomination in both 1984 and 1988 after a fairly impressive showing in the polls.

Steve Forbes. Hosted April 13th, 1996. He lost the Republican nomination in both 1996 and 2000. In 1996, he won two states in the primaries.

Al Sharpton. Hosted December 6th, 2003. Lost Democratic nomination for 2004 election.

Rudy Giuliani. Hosted November 22nd, 1997. He just missed the Republican nomination for the 2008 election.

On top of them, we have:

George McGovern. He hosted April 14th, 1984, which of course was after his two attempts at the Presidency (in 1968 and 1972). BUT, as I just learned, according to wikipedia McGovern also tried running for the Democratic nomination in 1984, and lost.

and of course:

Al Gore. Hosted December 14th, 2002. Yes, that's after he lost the 2000 election, but he's also a name that is still coming up (at least four newscasters mentioned him as a candidate DURING THE DEMOCRATIC CONVENTION). Time will only tell if Gore decides to run again.

So this leaves John McCain. McCain hosted on October 19th, 2002. It was a wretched show. The monologue was especially painful. Now, this was also after his loss of the nomination for the 2000 election, but as I'm sure you know, he's the Republican nominee this year.

Using this evidence above, I shall theorize that McCain will lose in November.

And just so you don't think I'm showing only the candidates who lost, these are the other politicians that have hosted SNL over the years.

Julian Bond. Hosted April 9th, 1977. Senator, never ran for President.
Ron Nessen. Hosted April 17, 1976. Gerald Ford's Press Secretary. Never ran for President.
Ed Koch. Hosted on May 14th, 1983 and May 12th, 1984. New York City Mayor. Never ran for President.

And here's another thing:
What about politicians who have just appeared on SNL, but haven't hosted? I searched online, but I couldn't find a list of these occurrences. Off the top of my head, I know that Gerald Ford appeared on the Ron Nessen episode in 1976 (saying the famous "Live From New York..." line), and lost the Presidential election soon afterwords. Jesse Jackson appeared after Dr. Seuss died, but that was after his Presidential defeats. Lamarr Alexander appeared in a skit right before losing the Republican Nomination. Ralph Nader appeared many years later in a skit before his Presidential campaigns. George H.W. Bush appeared on one episode, but I'm not sure if it was before or after he lost the 1992 election. Former Senator Paul Simon appeared on one episode in the 1980s right before he lost the Democratic nomination for President. I actually think Al Gore appeared briefly on an SNL political special in 2000. Giuliani appeared at least twice more on the show after he hosted. And most recently, both Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama, John McCain and Sarah Palin have all made appearances on the show. Hmm. Maybe Bob Barr will win this election!