Something very strange happened last week. Stand-up comedian Sinbad was reported dead. Here is the article via imdb. Read it. It's only like 30 words.
According to the article, some mystery editor over at wikipedia wrote on Sinbad's entry that the comedian had a heart attack last Saturday. Then suddenly, "hundreds" of people contacted Sinbad to make sure that he wasn't dead.
Did I read this right? This all started from a wikipedia entry? This means that on this particular Saturday at least one hundred people were viewing Sinbad's wikipedia page...somehow I don't believe that.
You know what I think? That mystery editor wasn't a mystery editor at all, but rather was the man in question himself. Yeah, I bet Sinbad edited his own page. Why? Well, what better way to get back in the media? I'd believe that more than people were reading about the influence of "Jingle All The Way".
Maybe Sinbad had recently caught a late night showing of "Pauly Shore Is Dead."
Tuesday, March 20, 2007
It's ok. He's not dead. You can go back to hating him.
Wednesday, March 7, 2007
The Media and Captain America
I just typed a whole long blog post only to lose it. I'm kinda pissed right now, so it might come out in this article that I now need to retype.
Anyway, if you haven’t heard already (and that means that you have been shunning every major news outlet) Captain
Now, I'm not pissed that Marvel killed off one of my favorite characters, no...I'm sure that Ed Brubaker (the current writer of Cap) will be able to make good stories surrounding this and make the title work just as well as he had in the past. (Brubaker is one of the best comic book writers out there today, so I don’t have any doubts).
No, what I'm pissed at is the media reaction to Cap's death. The CBS News at Noon put my contempt best when they introduced the article: "First it was Superman, and now, Captain
Yes, Superman...who died in the early 90s, and then came back less than a half a year later...I guess the media hasn't learned anything since those days...back then the New York Times was embarrassed when they placed this comic book event on their front page with the headline: "Superman Dead!". I quote DC Comics own Bob Rozakis on his reaction to seeing the Times: "I was looking at it thinking: Are they serious? Do they think this is real? Do they think we'd really permanently kill off our best selling character for good?" And sure enough, as was always the plan, Superman was back only a few issues later. I guess he wasn't quite dead yet.
No comic company would kill off their most popular characters (and even when they had the very misguided sense to even try this, it usually backfired with fans reacting in ways no one ever thought possible, i.e. The Spiderman Clone Saga). And yes, I know DC has killed off characters and replaced them many times before, but there is a major difference between killing permanently an icon like Superman, Batman or Wonder Woman, and making Rene Montoya the new Question. (and yes, I know that DC has successfully killed off and replaced popular characters such as Green Lantern, The Flash and Green Arrow, but there were different circumstances in place there: Barry's book was already cancelled, They always planned on bringing Hal back, and Ollie cheated on Black Canary, so no one cared). Captain
If the past jumping to conclusions with Superman wasn't good enough, here are some other reasons why thinking Cap is forever dead might not be a smart move:
Firstly, Marvel is making a movie of Captain
Here's another reason: Cap's book is still an ongoing. The book isn't over, Brubaker is still writing it, so, it's likely that he isn't dead. Now, I know this isn't as good a point as it could be...Green Arrow's book continued after Ollie died in issue 100...they just made his son the new Green Arrow (it would take quite a few years, and Kevin Smith with a good story, for Ollie to return from the dead), but more than likely, when an ongoing title goes on, the character is probably still around in some capacity...especially in Cap's case when they haven’t named any successors yet.
But lets go back to what exactly they said on the News At Noon. Just when you thought they couldn’t get any stupider, the anchors had to converse with one another: "Is there any word yet on why they did this?" "No, no one is saying any reasons why yet..." WHAT? Is the noon edition of the news too early to do any research? Ask anyone with even any fading knowledge of comic books today and they can tell you he died because of Marvel's "Universe Changing Event" Civil War. I mean, c’mon, even DC people know that one...but wait, it get's worse:
"No, No one is saying any reasons why yet. The creator of Captain
To CBS' credit, they did seem to get most of their facts straight for their five o'clock edition...even calling Marvel editors Tom Brevhort and Joe Quesada out on doing this just for the money. At least there's still some integrity in reporting. (and if anyone saw the CBS five o'clock news article, I did find it hysterical that reporter Pablo Guzman was dressed as incognito as he could in trench coat and fedora as he stood outside of Midtown Comics).
Anyway, I avoided talking about the ending to Marvel's Civil War because I didn't want to alienate the few readers I have of this blog (hey Steph and Carsi! lol), but since this is about my contempt for the news media, I figure I'll let it slide right now.
I was one of the few that actually thought the ending to Civil War was appropriate, and was not a cop out by Marvel. Yes, it was anti-climatic, and yes, in my opinion, the bad guys won, and yes, it certainly puts a twist on everything, but as Joss Whedon put it, it's basically the way it has to end. Cap's team had no real strategy other than round up all the cool heroes and fight all the heroes I don’t give a damn about. Which, yes, is pretty cool as it is, but it's not a plan. Now, I'm not defending the whole series of Civil War. I think there was more to be desired through much of the series. The fact that they didn’t have a clear plan is one of the biggest errors in the whole thing. Also the fact that no one questions how Mar-Vell is still alive, or why the prisoners in the negative zone were never taken out of their costumes.
But now I have another problem. If they were going to kill Cap as a result of Civil War, why wait till two weeks after the Civil War to do it. Wouldn't it have been a lot easier for him to die during the event, rather than in a book that maybe not everyone who read Civil War might buy? Maybe I answered my own question earlier when I said that he might be back...I think the fact that it's happening in Cap's own book is a clear sign that this isn't a death as much as a way to go underground.
I haven’t read the book yet (I wait for the trades when it comes to Captain
Originally I guessed that Cap, since he was arrested, might become the new leader of The Thunderbolts. That would have made for an interesting issue. But alas, I guess not. Another idea I had was that the government might do what they did so long ago and get another person to be Captain
Ok, I'm done ranting about this. Cap seems dead now, but I bet he isn't. No one ever stays dead in comics. Get back to your life.
Monday, February 26, 2007
My Road To NY Comic Con 2007
Note, this should have gone up Saturday, but I was really tired after I came home, so it goes up now.
After waiting 3 months and regretting not going last year for even longer, today, Saturday the 24th, I finally made the trip to the New York Comic Con. Comic Con, while primarily a comic book convention, is a huge pop culture festival, with representatives from movies, TV, comics, video games, anime, manga, and more present. As far as I know this is one of the most important festivals in the field, only paling in comparison to the huge annual
The festival started at 10 AM today, with people being checked in as early as 9AM. Of course this means I rolled out of bed at 8:30, expecting to beat the early rising crowd (those fools). I unfortunately was going alone, because Pete DiSilvio made up some excuse about being broke…you know Pete, Oliver Queen was broke too, and did he give up? No, he dated Black Canary.
Anyway, I still had hope that at the festival I would run into one of the many Nonsensers that were also going, and hopefully I wouldn't be alone the whole time.
So, I arrive at the
So, finally I get into the building a little after 12. I'm not sure what the line was for exactly, since they didn't scan my ticket or anything, the security guard barely looked at it and sent me along. I hope the line out of the building isn't that long as well…
At first entrance onto the main floor, I'm completely overwhelmed by…everything. All around me are booths full of people who probably could tell me incredibly obscure facts about forgotten comics like the exact issue number that Beefeater first appeared in Giffen's JLE (it's #20, contrary to what is written on wikipedia. I have the damn issue). Not to mention the crowd. If there were at least 500 people on that line waiting, there was at least quadruple that inside the place. I felt like I was sleepwalking while shifting through the aisles and past the clusters of people with witty T-shirts. I pass at least 3 Stormtroopers and two Supergirls, one of which had no business being dressed up like Supergirl. Lines formed out of nowhere for artist and writer signings. I've never seen people rush to a line so quickly just to spend 2 minutes telling one man how much you loved their work and for them to hand you back your comic now officially unreadable because of a bunch of illegible big marker letters written across the front of it. I made my way to the back of the floor, staring at all the booths in front of me with disbelief. The number of independent retailers selling comics from "The Golden Age" or shitty copies of bootlegged videos astounded me. One seller had a bootleg DVD set of "Heroes" labeled "The Compete First Season." "But the first season isn't even over yet…" "Well, it's every episode up until the last one, and it's $60. I can bring it down to 50, but that's it." I could also watch all the episodes free online.
I started counting the number of girls I saw dressed like Harley Quinn. There had to be at least 7, including one girl who didn't look any older than 7. Harley was probably the second most popular costume there, only trumped by the aforementioned Supergirls. Wow were there a lot of Supergirls. If the past serves any purpose, it's that I've learned that there are a good number of girls who don't like comic books, and think conventions like this are only for geeky nerds, but honestly, at one point, I'm almost positive there were more girls than guys in the building. And I mean gorgeous girls…any stereotypes people had about girls that like comics could have been broken by just stepping foot in the place. Wow.
WARNING, Rant starting: Now, I'm not even counting the girls that were working booths, many of whom were clad in absolutely nothing. I'd never thought I'd say this, but that actually offended me…me! I mean, these girls are obviously trying to appeal to a stereotypical portrayal of the male comic book nerd, you know, the porn addict who melts at the sight of a pretty girl talking to him…and well, I thought it was a little wrong. The fact that some of these girls were walking around handing out fliers trying to convince people to buy stuff from their booth while only wearing what looked like body paint really pissed me off. I couldn't believe it. I mean, there was a Playboy playmate there at the convention signing autographs or something, and she was dressed quite well…much better than these girls. You know, I'm just going to stop complaining about this, because I'm probably just shooting myself in the foot here…either that or you're all going to think I'm gay. Rant over.
Anyway, after I found a bathroom, because I had drunk too much water, I started wandering through Artist Alley. In the booth marked "Jimmy Palmiotti" sat J.G. Jones. This was confusing to both myself and apparently him, since at times he was telling lesser-informed fans that he was Jimmy Palmiotti. Jones has been doing amazing work as the cover artist of 52, and well, I wanted to tell him that (and now I'm starting to understand those fanboys rushing for autographs earlier). So I approached him and said "Now what is JG Jones doing in the booth that is marked for Jimmy Palmiotti?" To which he replied by saying the exact thing back to me, in an exaggerated version of my voice "That's my best impression, sorry." Wow. J.G. Jones just mocked me. Anyway, this developed into a very interesting conversation about how I loved the 52 cover that was Batman fighting the dragon, and how apparently I'm the only one who understood that was a reference to the famous St. George fighting the dragon and was representing Batman fighting his inner-demons. (I don't believe I'm the only one who got this, but that's what he said.) I also asked him if that was a clue for upcoming issues of 52, if that means Batman will be fighting Richard Dragon? "No, but that's a good interpretation of that."
After J.G. Jones I found the creators of "Action Philosophers!" where I had another very interesting conversation, which resulted in me jokingly threatening to sue them if their comic wasn't good. I'm such a jokester me…
Wondering around trying to find some of the Nonsensers, I went through a bunch of the booths. The Cheerleader from "Heroes" was signing autographs, as was Gary Coleman. I got pictures with Kyle Baker and Chris Claremont(who I also managed to piss off), as well as tell Rags Morales that he draws a great Black Canary. Jimmy Palmiotti (finally at his booth) drew a quick sketch of Jonah Hex for me and signed it. That was cool. I stopped by the "Masters of Horror" booth, and had a poster signed by all 6 directors there, including John Landis. This was kinda funny because I told Landis that even though this was a Masters of Horror booth, I preferred his comedies like The Blues Brothers and Animal House, to which the director next to him (I'm sorry, but I don't know his name) said jokingly "Well, fuck you man" and signed the poster "Fuck You Billy". That was awesome.
Bill Plympton signed an autograph for me, and I had a fun conversation with one of his, I guess assistants about the costumes some people were wearing to the convention. "I'm shocked that I've only seen one Slave Leia" I said. "Yeah, and no Black Canarys." (I know, I know). Past the aforementioned top two costumes of Supergirl and Harley Quinn, there were quite a few assorted Jedi walking about, as well as an abundance of people dressed like Anime characters. It's interesting to try and comprehend the dedication some of these people have to Anime characters, and their desire to look exactly like them, no matter how unhuman the character might look. I mean some of them had white paint above their eyes just to make them look bigger; and the amount of gel and coloring in some peoples' hair… Honestly, humans don't look like that for a reason. Becoming a carbon copy of your character doesn't work. Though it does a certain surreal aspect to the whole thing…hell, looking at the crowd at an event like this is like getting a lesson in post-modernism.
Other than them there were some really cool costumed people wandering around. There was a Superman and Batman that looked like what would happen if Alex Ross drew real people (that's not a compliment by the way). There was a Blue Beatle, a Flash and a Green Lantern, all of which I got a picture with. At least three Spidermans, all in different versions of his costume. A really cool Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn combo. A 30-year-old man trying to be Aqualad, skin tight clothes and messed up wig and all. Honestly, he looked like a transvestite in that getup (and Aqualad's a guy!). There was also a skin tight Aquaman running around with very visual nipples. I wonder if it was Joel Schumacher. Boba Fett didn't seem out of place at all, and neither did an almost perfect looking Jean Grey/Phoenix. But the best costume there had to go to a man dressed as the Golden Age Vigilante. Now that's an original costume. Honestly, who would want to be the Vigilante? Who would think to be The Vigilante? That guy's officially entered my book of cool.
Oh, and there was also Skelator. An out-of-work Skelator. Awesome.
During my conversation with Bill Plympton's aide (and Plympton himself at intervals), another fan came up and asked if Plympton could draw him a picture of a man fighting a shark. Apparently, he's asked every artist there to draw a picture of a man fighting a shark, and he's trying to fill up a whole sketchbook of it. This man has just made my official cool list as well. Plympton's aide went on to tell us about how last year someone had every artist draw a picture of Marvel Comics Tigra (I assume even if they are from DC). I didn't even know there were Tigra fans. I didn't even know Tigra was still alive until I saw her used in "Civil War". That guys cool too, cause now he has a whole sketchbook of Tigra drawn by different artists.
I kept on checking Keith Giffen and Peter David's booths at Artist Alley, but they never showed up. I wanted to go meet Paul Dini but I never got around to it. I was really tempted to go up to Rob Liefeld and tell him that I love his work and I would love it if he drew me a picture of Captain America, you know, the one with the insanely large muscles, but I figured I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face while saying it, and the joke would be ruined. There was a table set up for Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, but none of them were at the table. That was disappointing. Jim Shooter had a table too…I'm not sure why.
After searching for him all day, I finally found the DC comics Sandwich board guy, and got my "Jimmy Olsen Must Die!" and "WWMMD?" pins. That being my final accomplishment of the day, I began to get ready to head home. As I'm walking out, I see Art Tebbel, Editor-In-Chief for Nonsense, (one of the Nonsensers I had been looking for all day.) Figures, I only find him as I'm leaving.
It was a fun day at the convention. I bought some nice comic books (I finally have every copy of "Chase"!), and I met some great comic book creators. Plus I have a picture with me and that guy dressed as Vigilante. That's so cool.
Tuesday, February 20, 2007
Let's Analyze Bad Lyrics--Keep On Loving You
Hello and welcome to a new edition of "Let's Analyze Bad Lyrics" Today's bad lyric criminal is REO Speedwagon, and their "love" (?) song "Keep On Loving You".
I was listening to an oldies station today when I heard "Keep On Loving You" (sandwiched between Joan Jett's "I Love Rock n Roll" and Bryan Hyland's "Itsy Bitsy Teeny Weenie Yellow Polka Dot Bikini"). Prior to this, I had heard the song numorous times before, but never did I really listen to the lyrics. Let's have a look, shall we? (My comments are in parentheses).
You should’ve seen by the look in my eyes, baby
There was something missing
You should’ve known by the tone of my voice, maybe
But you didn’t listen
(Uh oh, this looks like trouble! And by the fact that the main protagonist in this work, probably a male, is giving his female "baby" counterpart numerous warnings that she should have known better, I get the feeling that he is very angry at her, and worse things, like beatings, are soon to come. Also, by the use of "maybe" it appears that he's not even sure if "baby" should have known by the "tone of [his] voice". Well, let's see what happens next.)
You played dead
But you never bled
Instead you lay still in the grass
All coiled up and hissin
(OH MY GOD HE DID BEAT HER!!! He hit her, because she didn't understand what he was saying when he yelled at her...or looked in his eyes. She proceeded to pretend to be dead, but that didn't fool the main protagonist, he knew better because there was no blood. (There should always be blood). Also he compares her to a snake. I'm intrigued enough to go on and read why he's mad at her.)
And though I know all about those men
Still I don’t remember
(Ok, he knows that she cheated, but yet, doesn't remember? I get it now, he hit her because he's mentally unstable!)
Cause it was us baby, way before then
And we're still together
(I'd guess not for much longer.)
And I meant, every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever
(He even tried to say it with his fist! How can you not believe that?)
And I’m gonna keep on lovin you
Cause its the only thing I wanna do
I don’t wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on lovin you
(Now he's raping her! Over and over again, even though his "baby" is begging him to go to sleep and get away from her. This isn't a love song, it's a song about an abusive relationship.)
And I meant every word I said
When I said that I love you I meant
That I love you forever
(So, to clarify, when he said he loved you forever, he meant he was going to rape you forever...and I'd presume that playing dead won't make any difference to him. It hurts? Well, you should have thought of that before cheating bitch...you should have seen the warnings when you looked in his eyes.)
And I’m gonna keep on lovin you
Cause its the only thing I wanna do
I don’t wanna sleep
I just wanna keep on lovin you
So as we see, "Keep On Loving You" is not a love song at all, but actually a song about a psychotic main protagonist that caught his female counterpart ("baby") cheating with MANY other men (note, he doesn't say just one, but ALL those men. She was a damn whore), and then beating and raping her as punishment. It's a song about revenge, not love.
What I find funny is that this song was played at my cousin's wedding a few years back. I guess no one looked at the lyrics before picking it out.
Ah, the joys of actually reading things...
Sunday, February 4, 2007
Insomnia and the impending apocalypse
It was around 5 in the morning last night. Or is that early morning? Whatever. I was laying in my bed; I couldn't sleep again. I was spinning around the sheets, constantly staring at my alarm clock. "Maybe if I stare at my clock the time will go backwards." Alas, that did not work. In fact it did the complete opposite...talk about your bad luck.
I started flipping through channels on my TV, thinking that maybe there would be at least something interesting to watch during my insomnia. There was an episode of the X-Files on...no shock there, there was also some show where they were selling ten year old pennies at 35 dollars a piece. I wonder if I can do that. I mean, I have a whole jar full of change...who knows what I can sell that for...
Random thoughts shifted in and out of my head. "I was sleepy right before I got to bed, how am I not tired now?", "Just wait, right when I find something to watch, I'll fall asleep", "Which is the worst news of the week...Boston being full of idiots or Joss Weeden not doing the Wonder Woman movie anymore?
While in jail he hangs out with Todd Barry, Tommy Lee, Heidi Fleis and the ghost of Sam Kiniston...and I assume learns a valuable life lesson (ironically) and probably gets his "career" back...I'm not sure...I passed out around then...Believe me it was for the better, because if I had to hear one more "Heeeeeeeeey Budddddddddy" a blood vessel in my brain probably would have popped, and blood would have shot out of my ears.
The worse part was...this was a Pauly Shore movie, which with a little research I found out he directed...and featured cameos by the likes of Woopi Goldberg, Britney Spears, Kurt Loader, Matt Pinfield, Sugar Ray, Limp Bizqit, Tom Sizemore, Carson Daily, the aforementioned Carrot Top, Kato Kalin, and Ja Rule (none of which surprise me as they all suck), but also Bill Maher, Ellen Degenerous, Ben Stiller, Vince Vaughn, Dr Dre, and Snoop Dogg. Why guys, why?
Oh and he compares his own comedy lovingly to Sam Kiniston...either that or he really hates him.
Needless to say, this movie has scarred me for life. It was the equivalent of the Kent State Massacre on screen. They just kept on shooting at me for no reason at all. Over and over again. At the same time though, I couldn’t look away from it. I was amazed at
Wednesday, January 10, 2007
My top 5 movies of the year
This year was probably the worst for me and movie theatres. I hardly went this year. I guess it was mostly due to lack of money, but there were so many movies I missed, and yet so many more that I had to finally watch on DVD.
So, this is hardly a complete list. If I saw some more of the "Critic Choice" movies that came out, maybe this list would reflect the years true outlook better, but for now, it's just my top 5 of movies I have seen that came out this year.
For the record I have yet to see: Borat, The Departed, Brick, Hard Candy, Full Nelson, The Good Sheppard, The Good German, The Science of Sleep, Stranger than Fiction, Searching for Comedy in the Muslim World, Factory Girl, plus many more essential movies of the year.
Here are my top 5:
1)Casino Royale
2)Thank You For Smoking
3)Perfume: The Story of a Murderer
4)Little Miss Sunshine
5)Clerks 2
3 of those five were adaptations from books (I don’t think Little miss Sunshine was a book first, right?) 3 are also technically comedies. 2 are sequels (or reboots), and 2 are foreign films (technically Casino Royale and Perfume). One is a film that most people addressed as simply "Not sucking" (Clerks 2).
These are the other films that I saw for 2006, and I'm gonna do an EW (Entertainment Weekly) letter grade and say a few words about each.
A Scanner Darkly
---It's a pretty intriguing movie and it almost made my top 5. The reason Clerk beat it out was because I enjoyed Clerks more. That and A Scanner Darkly could be kind of confusing for some. A-
Accepted
---Funnier than I thought it would be, but still kind of stupid. It was trying to be Animal House when there was no need for a new Animal House. And I jokingly blame the fact that I've seen this, but not should-be-right-up-my-alley Brick on Steph and her unrequited love for Lewis Black. (It's all your fault!). B
American Dreamz
---An attempt at satire that doesn't fall as flat on it's face as everyone says it does. Granted, it's no where near perfect, and does get somewhat stupid at a point, but I think it actually says some good things. I talk more about it in this article. B
Crank
---I called this movie D.O.A. meets Speed. That's really the perfect way to describe it. Well...that and add to it the fact that it's made for people who have no attention span and think The Fast and The Furious was the high point of American cinema. The only thing this movie has going for it is it's super fast pace. It makes it feel like it's only been 20 minutes you've wasted watching it, and not an hour and a half. C-
Inside Man
---Not the worst Spike Lee movie I've seen, and not even that controversial (ooh, they mention the Holocaust. Scandalous). But also not at all memorable. I guess it's an enjoyable, harmless movie. Spike Lee has made better work though. B-
Snakes on a Plane
---Forget about the movie. The thing everyone mentions with this is the internet hype and Samuel L. Jackson saying a line that will become the next "Get off My Plane!". (Or, as I said when I saw the trailer for that crappy Harrison Ford movie this year about criminals stealing money online: "Get off My Internet!"). Anyway, the hype wasn't all there, it's not as bad as it should have been, and if you see this movie without a large enthusiastic audience then you're stupid. C -
Superman Returns
---Bryan Singer was trying to make Superman this operatic character. And yes, it certainly has that operatic feel to it. Unfortunately it's also pretty boring. I don’t know, it just seems like this movie could have been so much better than it was. B-
V for Vendetta
---Now this was a travesty. If you've ever read the awesome graphic novel then you know they got everything all wrong. The fact that Evey wasn't a prostitute in here just messes up her whole characterization. The only reason she would hang out with a person like V is because she's so desperate a person! And what the hell is all this blaming
X Men 3: The Last Stand
---Most of my feelings for this movie can be summed up here. B
I'm trying to catch up. I just added Idocracy to my Netflix queue.
Thursday, December 7, 2006
the top catchphrases list is revealed
"Heeeeere's Johnny!" Number 1 catch-phrase on TV Land list
Damn I'm good.
