The Movies of 2007

Well this has just been a shitty year for me and movie theater going.

I know, I said that last year too. Well, I still haven't improved upon the amount of movies I see when they come out.

Sadly, because of this, my top 5 movies of the year list is horribly inaccurate. Major movies, many of which I'm sure would have made my list, aren't going to. I need to see more movies in theaters.

Usually the months of January and February are filled with me Netflixing the movies I missed from the previous year...and so it might be smarter to do this list in say March instead of now...but I already made the graphic. So here, horribly incomplete, is:



The more I stare at that bad graphic, the more I don't regret doing it in Paint...at work...while constantly hiding it from my supervisor.


5)Futurama: The Movie: Bender's Big Score



This should show how bad a year it was for me...a movie that only came out on DVD is making my top 5.

Is it just like the original show? No. Is it perfect? Not at all. Was it incredibly enjoyable and did it make me laugh for more than half of it? Absolutely.

My main problem with the movie was that it seemed like they were trying to cram as many cameos as they could into the movie, rather than actually creating a working plot. I'm not saying that the plot wasn't good (they made a time travel movie work with no plot holes...that's gotta mean something), it's just that I don't think it was worth a movie...egh, whatever.

4)The Simpson's Movie



Two cartoons, yeah. This movie suffers from the same problem that Futurama does...too many cameos, not good enough plot. It was funny, I can't argue with that (it probably has something to do with all of the old writers, sans Conan O'brien, coming back to take up the writing chores), but, once again, it wasn't as good as it could have been. Albert Brooks was amazing in his role though. And let's not forget about Bart's skateboarding scene, possibly the best joke in the movie. Too bad last season sucked...again.

3)Juno



Another script with a problem. This time though, the problem wasn't plot, but rather pretentious dialogue. Every time Juno said something like "Honest to Blog" or I don't know, that dog diggity down shit, I cringed. Diablo Cody obviously has talent, and she can write, I'll give her that, but cut the pretentiousness, please.

2)Superbad


I saw this movie in a theater packed with junior high kids.

I still loved it.


1)Knocked Up



Apatow takes the top two. Not only is the movie hysterical, it also taught a valuable lesson about growing up. Apatow's movies at the end give feel good messages that make you get a certain feeling that most people only get from watching a Frank Capra film. Seth Rogan is the new Jimmy Stewart, and Judd Apatow is the new Capra. There, I've said it.



Just so you can see how bad a movie year it's been, I'm going to rate the rest of the movies I've seen in an EW format (just like I did last year).


300: It looked beautiful, no one can argue that. It was crap though. Enjoyable crap...but crap none the less. Just another piece of Frank Miller's later era "all style and no substance" writing.

And before anyone says something about it being a pro-war film, let me remind you...it's a tale being told by a general trying to rally his troops. It's full of exaggerations and propaganda because, come on, he's got to get them hyped up about something. Either way, it still isn't as good as every guido in America claimed it was. B-

The Darjeeling Limited: And now, the sad truth. I don't want to call the movie boring...but it was yawn inducing, and drawn out (shockingly for a 90 minute movie). Anderson can still direct; and all the performance were fine; but the movie lacked something. Maybe it was a script that didn't seem like it had gone through all the drafts it should have. Maybe it was Wes doing the same thing he always does with his movies. Maybe the criticism has finally gotten to me that he makes the same movie over again each time/ minorities exist purely as fetishes for white characters. I'm not sure. I will say this, the only character that was fully characterized was Adrien Brodys' and maybe Owen Wilsons' (and not even until the very end). Every other character had to make due with 'quirks' being characterization. And that hasn't worked since Tenenbaums. I'm really sad that I didn't like this movie more, but I guess it was time for me to end my film-crush on Wes Anderson's films. He can comeback, of course, but right now Noah Baumbach is running circles around him. B


Farce of the Penguins: Well, this was just intolerably horrible. EVERY JOKE SUCKED. It mad me want to hurt comedians I like, just because of their association with this movie. Word of advice to Lewis Black : If Bob Saget comes to you asking to do a movie he wrote...again...don't do it. Please. F

Grindhouse: First off, if you didn't see this in theaters, then there's no point to see it. It was meant as a theater experience, and it won't be the same on your HD TV, no matter how much money you put into the system. It's all about the atmosphere, and that includes people too...

Basically this movie was the "Snakes on a Plane" for this year, only for some reason there was this delusion that it was good. Tarintino and Rodriguez are both great directors, yes, but...this sucked. They set out to make a homage to bad films, and they made...a bad film...no, strike that...two bad films. Egh. B

Spider-man 3: These are my problems with Spider-man 3:
1)Raimi tried to cram too much into this movie. It came to the point where nothing got enough time.
2) I hate to say it, but Sandman was not needed in this movie. It would have worked perfectly with just Venom.
3)That's if Venom was even in it.
4)You had to be familiar with the comics to even understand the Venom story, because they explained nothing. If you don't know the comics, you won't know why the suit does what it does, or why there is a sort of dependency between the symbiote and the wearer.
5)The thing that pissed me off the most was Raimi's constant use of homages. Now I'm not against homages (especially in a Spider-man movie), but Raimi went too far. He was using the homages to convey the emotions and state of mind of the characters, but it would have been much better suited to come up with something original (or at least from the comics)the non-stop references to Saturday Night Fever, Working Girl, Tootsie, Cabaret, etc just took me out of the movie.
6)The movie falls apart in it's second half.
7)The scene where Venom and Sandman team up is horrible. It reminds me of Joel Schumacher's Batman movies.

Here would have been a better movie: The relationship between Peter and Mary Jane is paralleled by the relationship between Peter and the black symbiote/Eddie Brock and Venom. Include the Gwen Stacy and Harry Osbourne parts of course. Make Venom the only villain. If you really want Sandman then fight him in the beginning while Peter is in the black suit. That might be a waste of Sandman though, so maybe it could be a smaller character. That's just my take. B-


The TV Set: It had so much potential, but blew it all by not developing characters. B-

Wild Hogs: Yeah, you read that right...I saw Wild Hogs. Some of my friends have REALLY bad taste in movies. I didn't pay for it though, so whatever...it wasn't my money that went to this. To sum it up: Yes, it was that bad. F


So, I haven't seen There Will Be Blood, No Country For Old Men, Lars And The Real Girl, Michael Clayton, Sweeney Todd, etc. I might see There will be blood soon, cause my friends want to go, so maybe I'll have a new number one. Same with No Country. Sweeney Todd apparently puts manlihoods in jeopardy cause it's a musical, so I guess that's one for the rental queue. And so are the others. I'll see them all eventually.


UPDATED!!!!:

I forgot a movie, and saw another, so I'm adding them here at the end:

Shoot 'Em Up: Clive Owens kills people using carrots, knives, helicopter blades, needles, and other blunt objects, and then complains that guns kill too many people. D-

Smokin' Aces: An attempt to mimic Tarintino, but forgetting what makes Tarintino great. D-

Chris Sim's 30 Second Comic Book Recap Contest

In conjunction with Chris Sim's Invincible Super-Blog's 30 Second Recap Contest ,

Here is a 30 second recap of Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale's "Batman: The Long Halloween"

With apologies to Sat Shenoy

...and yes it's suppose to look that way

The Revolution Still Has Not Been Televised

Yeah, I know I took forever in between posts...I'm already failing at the goals I set for this blog.

Egh, you'll get over it.

Anyway, I've been doing some top lists for 2007 and I figure now is the best time to debut some of them. (Mostly because I don't feel like writing that Hillary Clinton campaign ad article.) So, here is the first list:



Yeah, shitty graphic and all...the computer I'm doing this on isn't mine and doesn't have photoshop on it...fuck

anyway:

5) Flight of the Conchords (HBO)



The awkwardness of this show turned off a lot of people. To me though, that was what made it near perfect. There was no laugh track, there was no conventions, hell, most of the time there was no plot. It's the same kind of experimenting with the sitcom genre that HBO did last year with "Lucky Louie", except more accessible....and not as much full frontal male nudity. Also the music parodies were spot on:




4) The Sopranos (HBO)



Everyone was talking about that final episode. Yes there's a lot to talk about in it, but even without that abrupt cut to blackness (which had me cursing my cable company...I admit it) the rest of the season was brilliant. Everything from AJ's suicide attempt to Christopher's murder. I think I was more entertained by this season that I was for any previous.


3)Pushing Daisies (ABC)



No, this show wasn't without it's faults (when it leaves it's little make-believe world and strikes pop culture references that are more recent than the works of A.A. Milne I kind of shudder...the Vertigo reference was alright, but the Star Wars reference was a little out of place). They're still trying to figure out the shows voice. But look past that...it's as if Tim Burton created a TV Show. It's incredibly enjoyable and it can only get better.


2)Heroes (NBC)



Remember that the end of season one was in 2007 as well, and I don't think anyone would argue about the quality of that. Yes, Volume Two took off very slowly. Tim Kring apologized for that. Anyway, Volume 2 did get better, and I still looked forward to it every week.


1)South Park (Comedy Central)



Wow, what a season. Think back to earlier this year with that infamous episode where Randy Marsh made it to the final round of Wheel of Fortune. That my friends was gold. What else happened this year...Randy Marsh played World of Warcraft, Randy Marsh took a huge shit...hey, I guess this has been Randy Marsh's year. Also 9/11 conspiracy theories, Lice in a Michael Bay movie, a bomb up Hillary Clinton's snatch, and the awesome Imagination Land Trilogy. South Park strikes gold again.


Also notable this year: The first 6 episodes of the Sarah Silverman Show (the second group of episodes, outside of the blackface one, were really weak), Colbert Report and Daily Show, Weeds, Mythbusters, Frisky Dingo and Robot Chicken. And before people tell me other wise, I work during 30 Rock and The Office so I never get to see it. I need a Tivo.

Next I'll either post the top movies of music, I'm not sure...and hopefully it won't be 3 weeks later.

25 years of parents begging kids to play outside for a little while

The Commodore 64 turns 25 this week. By todays standards this computer--oh let's just say it and not beat around the bush--to anyone who didn't live through the progression of computers themselves; the fact that this computer exists, let alone that people are celebrating it would seem insane.

We've progressed a great bit in computers since the days of the Apple Lisa and "IBM Clones"...and that's a good thing. Still there's something...intriguing about this piece of outdated technology, and that's probably the reason we haven't forgotten about it, and fan sites for it flourish on the internet. For many people the C64 was their first personal computer, their first game system, and their first step towards the society we're living in today (not to mention the first step to the cyber-obsessed 80s.)

Sadly, many people my own age haven't even used a C64 before...we might be celebrating 25 years of the machine, but most didn't last more than ten years...unless of course you used the computer labs in my old high school. Honestly, up until I was in 9th grade (1998/1999) I had to use machines like the C64, the Apple 11e, and the Apple GS. The newest machine they had was the early 90s update of the Mac. Finally around 2000 (probably due to the Y2k scare) they updated all their machines...to first generation iMacs...I was happier with the retro-comps...

Man did I hate the first generation iMacs...

Anyway, happy birthday Commodore 64!

Bringing a gun to a music fight

In honor of Thanksgiving last week I wanted to do a post on the biggest turkey of all, Hillary Clinton, and analysis some of her campaign videos. But alas, my speakers were a little messed up (they're feeling much better now) and the post had to wait. I'll probably do it tomorrow or later today if I have time.

Instead, look at this:

Spinner has made a list of the top 20 songs about killing. Hey, pretty cool idea, sounds a little familiar though...hey, what the-- oh right, I did it already.

Ok, I'm being a little egotistical. I highly highly doubt Spinner looked at my list from a college newspaper 3 years ago. And I highly doubt I'm the first person to think of doing it (though I will say I had more balls than them because mine came out right around the anniversary of Columbine!). But just for shits and giggles, let's compare the lists.

Well, Spinner did 20 and I did 10. I had a hard time coming up with 10 songs that could fit the bill, so for 20...wow! And to boot, we only have 4 songs in common. (Stagger Lee, I Shot the Sheriff, Folsom Prison Blues, and Janie's Got a Gun). Spinner left some important ones off (see my list) and added a few that I either left off intentionally, (Stan, Maxwell's Silver Hammer) or completely forgot about and am hitting myself because of (Used to Love her, Nebraska)

And for God's sake why didn't I think of "Killing An Arab!" That song would have been perfect for my list...at the very least it would have been a better entry than "Janie's Got a Gun."

Well, no use crying about it now...at least I didn't forget the Boomtown Rats.




I still have bigger balls than them though

Pop Culture Approves this Message

Mike Huckabee has been a Blackhorse candidate in the Republican presidential race, but I think he’s finally latched onto something that can propel him to the top of the litter.

Take a look at his new campaign ad:

I’ll give you a minute to realize the awesomeness of that ad.

…

Now, Mr. Huckabee has been no stranger to comedy in the past; once telling a whole crowd in Iowa that he doesn’t have enough money to buy them; and I myself have even discussed a few comments that the former Arkansas Governor made about stand up comedy and politics, but this…this is…wow. That’s Chuck Norris man!

The sad thing is, now the Chuck Norris joke generator is not funny anymore, because as Rob Haber has said “He’s become too self-aware of the joke.” The old rule of topical humor goes that if the subject has become a joke on Leno, Letterman, Conan and SNL already, it’s not funny anymore. Chuck Norris cracking jokes about how he has a fist under his beard is the equivalent to that. (Especially with the Writers Strike going on right now we have no other place to see topical humor. Just thinking about that is weird…on TV, it’s currently campaign ads that are the top medium for political jokes. Kinda reminds of during the 19^th century when people went and watched a battle just for entertainment)

Anyway, the question is will Chuck Norris’ endorsement help Huckabee’s campaign. My answer: yes, as long as enough people see this ad. I guess it’s the frat boy demographic that really latched onto the Chuck Norris jokes. Yes, Hipsters did as well, but that was more in an ironic sense than an actual respect for Chuck Norris sense. If these ads are shown to the college crowd and the 17 through 35 demographic, then that’s it. It may not be as funny as say if one of Conan’s writers wrote the ad, but it does show that Huckabee has a sense of humor and at least some idea of what the current pop culture fixations are (even though the Chuck Norris gag is about 3 years old by now). Hillary Clinton is doing a similar thing in her campaign ads using the Sopranos and her husband, cultural icon Bill Clinton to attract votes (that’s for another post though.)

When a politician uses Pop Culture correctly it’s a surefire way for people to take notice and consider voting for them. Look at politicians in the past: Jimmie Davis used “You are my Sunshine” as his campaign song (even going so far as to buy the rights to the song so that he could claim he wrote it) in the 40s, from Kennedy on politicians cozy-ed up to pop culture icons to try and look hip (great examples include Nixon with The Carpenters and Elvis Presley), and Ronald Reagan, the former actor, used to include lines of dialogue from movies into speeches he made. On any given day Reagan could be given a speech as Clint Eastwood, Harrison Ford or the Backman-Turner Overdrive.

The use of pop culture which stalls a politician’s campaign is usually if they try to create culture rather than just show they understand it. Usually this downfall occurs by participating in skits on Saturday Night Live. Every politician who has hosted SNL has lost the presidential election. George McGovern, Jesse Jackson, John McCain, Al Gore…and didn’t Barack Obama just appear? Uh oh. George H.W. Bush appeared on SNL back in 1992. I forget if it was right before or right after he had already lost his re-election bid. Either way, the winner doesn’t ever appear. The reason for this is not exactly clear, but it seems to be the same reason enough people didn’t watch “Arrested Development.” The American Public didn’t want their leaders to be creators, they wanted them to tread in the same old ideas that everyone before them treaded in. They want them to be safe. They want them to be predictable, they want them to be a line up of “Yes Dear”, “The King of Queens” and “Two and Half Men”. Originality is frowned upon, individuality is a big no-no. The monikers of Republican and Democrat are enough of a separation to the voters…any more individuality and they’ll need to start paying attention to other details…like the issues.

Now once again, I can think of exceptions…Nixon was on Laugh In before he was president and it helped him a great deal in the upcoming election (people said “He gets our culture!” all because he agreed to say “Sock it to me”), and of course Reagan added a great deal to our culture when he was a movie star, though none of it really has much value outside of “Win one for the Gipper”. Clinton did appear on Arsenio Hall, but there’s a big difference there…all candidates appeared on the late night shows, but not all candidates made late night appearances that were more than campaign stops. Clinton has turned into a culture icon since he was president, as did JFK after death, and even Nixon in some way. Mainly though all this happened after they were no longer president.

Pop culture acceptance is like walking a fine line. This ad could shot Huckabee in the foot, but I don’t think it will. People will look at the ad and probably think Chuck Norris is running as his vice-president, which even I have to admit would be awesome. Anyway, he’s not a bad candidate. I’d probably vote for him over Giuliani or McCain or Hillary or even Obama, so I wish him luck. Here’s hoping when the writers strike is over he doesn’t go on Saturday Night Live.

Bring it on home

Just like the Fat Boys, I’m back.

That’s right, my self imposed hiatus is over, and Dante’s Infernal Racket has returned. And with a new website too!

As you can tell I’ve reposted many of my Myspace blog posts here, though somewhat arbitrarily. I tried to only take my best work from the old blog, and only the stuff that I believe people have an interest in (that’s why I’ve reprinted none of my irrelevant comic book reviews). Sadly, I was not able to transfer over the comments on my blog posts as well, so if anyone would like please go backwards and comment on my old posts. It would be most appreciated.

Anyway, one of the reasons for my hiatus from blogging back in June was I could not commit to doing a new blog post every few days. Now, while I still don’t believe I can be consistent with the output, I’m going to try my best. Here’s goals I’m setting for myself that I hope I can stand by:

I don’t promise to have a new blog post every day, but I do promise that whenever I can (which will at the very least be a new post every week, possibly more) I will post something.

I promise that I’m done trying to emulate other blogs. For short spans on the old Myspace blog I wasn’t sure where I wanted to take it. I tried to be Pop Candy, I tried to be The-isb, and I tried to be T-Sides. That’s in the past. Dante’s Infernal Racket is not about putting forth links to cool sites, and it’s not about only telling you what music you should look into or what comics came out this week. DIR will be a mixture of Pop Culture, Politics and Humor, mostly with analysis and in-depth critiquing. My opinion will be all over this blog, but I hope to both entertain and educate at the same time.

I promise this will not be a personal emo blog. While I have done my fair share of bragging and complaining before on my blog, I won’t post it here. I’ll probably leave it on the Myspace page.

When I can, I will link to it. I know in the earlier posts I hardly link. And even in the more recent ones some links are dead. I’ll try to remedy that.

I’ll try to keep it short (too late).

Alright, I’ll stop this post now. I hope I can achieve everything I just set forth, and I hope everyone will enjoy it. And leave comments! Please.

-Billy