It's Just That Old Parker Luck...

Too late.


From Amazing Spider-man # 589 by Van Lente and Siqueira

A Real Life Paul Gambi?

Why have I never shopped here?!

David Lynch Should Totally Write Batman

(stolen from Random Panels)

And I'm Sure We'll Think He's Going To Stay Dead Too

So, to anyone that watched the Vol. 3 finale of Heroes last night...

Jeph Loeb's way to make Sylar scary...is to rip off Saw?


Now, unlike Loeb, I'm not a terrible comic book writer, so I guess I can't really talk about homage vs. outright swiping, but if I may make a suggestion: the next time you want to make your audience feel a real kind of threat from a character, you may want to focus on better characterization, rather than relying on references to a well known movie franchise to provide it for you.

I can't wait until Brian Fuller returns...

Next Week There's A Choice Between Blue Or Red Pill

Here's what really pisses me off about the new season of Heroes.

You know Usutu, the African Precog played by Ntare Guma Mbaho Mwine, who though his ability to paint the future helps set Matt Parkman and now it seems Hiro and Ando in the right direction? He's a total abuse of the mystical stock character known as the "Magical Negro".



The white characters come to him looking for answers, and through his magical ability of precognitive painting (and headphones?) he shows them some special insight and sends them along on their way.

To quote wikipedia:

He has no past; he simply appears one day to help the white protagonist...He is patient and wise, often dispensing various words of wisdom, and is "closer to the earth"...Although from a certain perspective the character may seem to be showing African-Americans in a positive light, he is still ultimately subordinate to European-Americans. He is also regarded as an exception, allowing white America to like individual black people but not black culture.

Well, I guess if it's good enough for Grant Morrison's Batman...

Now her friends buy her!

A little late, but I don't care:

Have you heard? The British are FREAKING OUT! And, get this...it's over Barbie!

The Sun has the headline: "S&M Barbie Is Lashed By Public"
My word! What is this all about?



Mattel is releasing a fall line of Barbies that are based on DC Comic superheroes. Included in this collection are icons Wonder Woman and Supergirl, fan favorite Batgirl (Barbra Gordon), and my favorite comic book character to ever wear fishnets, Black Canary:






Poor Dinah Lance is this "S&M Barbie" all because her costume (since the 1940s by the way!) contains fishnet stockings and black leather.

Golly! What would Dr. Frederic Wertham think? I mean, he claimed Batman and Robin are a gay fantasy, and that Wonder Woman's independence made her a lesbian! But...fetish gear made to attract heterosexual males? In comics? Gasp! Hang on to your monocles!





Hey, S&M Barbie, have you met Bild Lilli?



What do you mean no? She's family! In fact, she's the doll you were based on. Well, not you specifically S&M Barbie, but the original 1959 Barbie. Yeah, she's old. Let me tell you about Lilli: she was a German doll, that was primarily marketed to men as a sex toy.


Oh. Well. Now this is awkward, isn't it.

Yes, Barbie was based on a German sex doll, which makes this quote from British Group Christian Voice about S&M Barbie even funnier: “Barbie has always been on the tarty side and this is taking it too far. A children’s doll in sexually suggestive clothing is irresponsible – it’s filth.”

No, no, Bild Lilli, don't cry, they weren't talking about you, you were marketed to men...it's not your fault that Ruth Handler ripped off your design almost completely for her original Barbie doll...aimed at little girls...


Here's a 1955 Lilli on the left, and a 1959 Barbie on the right.

Now you might be asking "where on earth did this Lilli come from originally anyway?!" Well, would you believe a comic strip?



(Translation from German: "I'm a Whore. Let's go fuck!")



Oh My!

Lilli was a comic strip character created by Reinhard Beuthien for the German newspaper Bild-Zeitung in 1952. Her strips usually involved her using her sexuality to attract men and gain money. In fact, one newspaper (from Australia) even goes as far as to call her a "comic strip prostitute"

Now I understand why Ken isn't atomically correct. Who knows what diseases Barbie inherited from her slutty mother?

(On a side note, those Lilli strips kind of remind me of Harvey Kurtzman and Will Elder's Playboy comic "Little Annie Fannie". The main difference is try doing a google search of "Little Annie Fannie" and you get pages of results. Then try searching for the Lilli comic strip and you get the same two images that I posted here. How has this not been archived better?)




So, everyone that's freaking out over Barbie being dressed like Black Canary, S&M gear and all, maybe you should take a look at your tarty children's dolls' history first.

Plus, have you seen their Supergirl doll? Jeez, she's only like 16 in the books...

Can't Stop Now, This Is Bat Country

That Was FANTASTIC.

The Most 90's Cover Ever Contest

When I heard that the new Wolverine movie would feature cameos by Sabretooth, Gambit, Deadpool, Maverick, Col. Stryker, Wraith and Silver Fox, I felt a certain nostalgia for horrible 90s Marvel comics and their cluttered, line-filled, exaggeratedly-proportioned covers. So, I headed over to my longboxes, with the intention of pulling out a few Wolverine-filled issues of Fantastic Four, Thor, and Conan, only to find that I didn't have any. I had forgotten I gave them away years ago.

That was a relief. No one should have to relive those horrible days.

Well, unless there's a contest going on that is...

Chris Sims, at the-isb and Phil at Poptown! have come up with a contest to find the most 90's cover ever. This of course had the potential to be ridiculously fun, or well, it did until Kevin Church kicked everyone elses butts with his entry. Yeah, he won.

But what the hell. Here's my entry:

I figured it I can't beat Kevin, I'd cheat. This is an issue that hasn't even come out yet. In fact, it's not due till September of this year.



King Size Cable Spectacular #1.

Why is this cover from 2008 so 90's?

First off, it has Cable and Bishop on it.

Also:
-Improbably large muscles.
-Bionic Arms.
-Obscured Feet.
-Shitty Perspective.
-Gun that's larger than half of Cable's head.
-But not Bishop's hand.
-Cable's facial expression makes him look constipated.
-Rubble and Destruction are everywhere!
-Shoulder pad!
-Cable's face has more lines than a Woodstock '98 concession stand

Damn. Maybe it's a retro cover or something? Like how Liefield is doing the variants for the current Youngblood series? Maybe?

Superman: Red State or Blue State?

I hate to do another comic book related post so close to that last one, but this pisses me off:

Newsarama has reported that DC is doing a book where all the superheroes supposedly declare their political ideology.

No, this is a really stupid idea that has the potential to alienate half their readership. You know there are people that will throw a tantrum because they find out that their childhood hero is of the opposing party of themselves.

Superman Red or Blue?
And what happens when DC's Trinity declares their party? Superman, Batman and Wonder Woman are DC's flagship characters and their over-saturated icons. Whatever way they fall will certainly bare scrutiny from the fans that that's the way DC or Dan Didio (Editor of DC Comics) falls.

Dave's Long Box did a pretty good job with guessing superhero political parties last midterm election. For the most part I agree with him on everything, but the people in his comment section bring up quite a few good points that could just as easily go against what Dave Campbell had posted.

Since Superman has had so many different writers over the 70 years he's been in creation, each with their own personal politics and image for the Man of Steel, it's not a surprise that there has been so much evidence to push Superman either way on the spectrum.


The Golden Age version of Superman can be argued to be socialist (for the time), but probably would be regarded as a Moderate Democrat today. In his first issue, Action Comics #1, Superman,
Stops an execution,
Beats up a wife beater,
Dictates what should and shouldn't be in the news,
Tries to clean up Senate corruption,
And scares the shit out of a lobbyist.

And that's only by page 13!

When John Byrne took over Superman after Crisis on Infinite Earths he had Superman execute three criminals from the Phantom Zone (including General Zod). This is the Superman that Dave Campbell mentions in his blog as a Moderate Republican who supports the Death Penalty. Many thought that was out of character for Superman at the time, and it is refuted by Campbell's commentors (quite a bit actually) that Superman, despite this execution, is actually very against the death penalty. DC Comics eventually gave into the pressure and removed the execution and all previous General Zods from continuity during the events of Infinite Crisis (personally I think it should have stayed because it was quite an important part of Superman's characterization and ethical code).

When Joe Casey took over the book in the early 2000s he made Superman a full on pacifist who hated throwing a punch. This is probably the most liberal leaning Superman has been since the Golden Age.


Currently I'd probably say Superman is that Moderate Republican that Dave Campbell talks about, regardless of the execution. His small town values mixed with his big city styling kind of push him that way. I don't think Superman would declare himself to a political party though. He'd probably give a speech that he's not for only Democrats or Republicans, but that he's for all Americans, in fact, he'd say he's for all humans and creatures of the world. Superman hates partisanship and division, and he doesn't really consider himself to be of one country (despite the fact that he wears Red, White and Blue).

Now that I think about it, can Superman even legally vote? He's an illegal alien. He's from the planet Krypton; an adopted child of earth. Sure Clark Kent could be passed off as an earth native...he could even possibly have a Social Security Card...but with the public knowledge that Superman is an alien, would his endorsement of a candidate or political party have much weight, or even be asked for? And with Superman's personal ethics, knowing that he himself is not of earth, and therefore would not be allowed to vote in an election without proper citizenship authorization, do you think that Clark Kent votes, even though he technically can? Would he not vote on purpose just to be fair to all American citizens? To make him just as equal as the others? Maybe that's the inner socialist in him after all?




I was going to talk about some other heroes and their political ideologies here, but I might hold that over for another post because this one is getting too long. I do want to say one more thing though: Superman is an odd case for his time period. If he was to be this anti-authority socialist hero in the 30s and 40s then that was a direct opposite to all the other heroes at the time who were jingoistic, America-loving, Nazi-bashing, patriots. Superman definitely stood apart from them...in fact, unlike all his contemporaries, he never actually fought in the War! This probably has something to do with Superman's creators: Jerry Shuster and Joe Siegel. Yes, they certainly would have been anti-Hitler and would certainly have wanted Superman to fight the Third Reich (which I'm not saying Superman wasn't anti-Hitler, I'm just saying he didn't stand along side The Flash, Green Lantern, Manhunter, Robotman and the others in the All-Star Squadron on the European Front), but they also were urban liberal Jews from poor families.
There was no way Superman was going to represent a WASPy sentiment. He was going to be what his creators wanted: a savior for the poor Jewish people of the time. And at the time, that savior was looking more and more like socialism.

B-I-N-G-O and Fanboy were their names-Oh

I did find time in my busy schedule to attend New York Comic Con last month. in lieu of a detailed review of the event like I gave last year, I wanted to post something I found on someone else's website:

Greg Hatcher in his awesome column on the Comics Should Be Good blog posted a game called Comic Con Bingo (which he says was created by Young American Comics). I figured it'd be a fun little thing to play to see if I really did encounter all of these stereotypes.

I'll analysis it later.



Well let's see:

Top Row: I can honestly say I didn't see anybody wearing socks and sandals, mostly because I wasn't really looking at anyone's feet. So no-go there.
Furries? Really? Come to think of it, thinking of furries in the cleanest way possible, yes I did see some furries.
Superhero tattoo? Yeah, I remember that, I think. Probably.
Fat Jedi? Absolutely. In fact, the place was filled with Fat Jedis and fat Stormtroopers. Oh comic con, you make me laugh.
"Hopeful with Portfolio" --like every three seconds in Artist Alley. You couldn't move in the place without bumping into one.

Second Row: Bald Guy With pony Tail--Does Peter David count? Heeey-Hooo!
B-List Celebrity not at table-I didn't see any, but I heard that many were there. Ranging from Bill Hader to...Bill Hader. Oh wait, does Stan Lee count? I saw him while on line. He wasn't at a table.
Long Black Trench Coat, Girl in comic shirt and Stripey Tights, yes to all three.

Third Row: Yes to this whole row, with no added commentary!

Fourth Row: "Over-Flowing Comic box/bag". I saw some guy with a luggage carrier.
Got T-shirt and Goth Pony-tails-- Does Peter David count?
Full Body Costume--Um...this should have been the free space. Have the makers of this never gone to a comic con before?
GF taller than BF--I mean, I wouldn't really know if they were dating unless I asked them, but sure I'm pretty sure I saw this.

Fifth Row: Wings--Both people wearing wings, and a poster for the first Oscar winner.
"Someone painted blue"--hmm. This year, I don't recall any blue people. In my head, I'm going through every possible blue character that could be a candidate for someone to dress up as at a con. Nightcrawler, Beast, Mystique, Blue Man group, Smurfs, Guardians of the Universe, post-incident Violet Beauregarde...I don't remember seeing any of them.
Kilt--no.
White-Boy Afro--No.
Porn Star--Does Peter David count?

yes, there was a porn star there, just like last year, and she had a booth. Again.

Well, I would have won on the second column. Yay.

Are we that predictable?

Chris Sim's 30 Second Comic Book Recap Contest

In conjunction with Chris Sim's Invincible Super-Blog's 30 Second Recap Contest ,

Here is a 30 second recap of Jeph Loeb and Tim Sale's "Batman: The Long Halloween"

With apologies to Sat Shenoy

...and yes it's suppose to look that way

Free Comic Book Day Reviews

Free Comic Book Day (or FCBD) is normally considered the most important day to comic shops and comic book fans across the country. The point of the day is to try and attract new readers into comic shops with special books that the publishers release specifically for FCBD that are given out for free. The theory goes, that hopefully the new fans will pick up the free books, get interested in them, and come back for more. It's the same way crack dealers operate.

The other purpose of FCBD is for the already embedded fan of comics (i.e. myself) to possibly try out a few books that normally I wouldn't spend a cent on. The goal here is to empty my wallet even more.

Anyway, I know that the day isn't the most successful it could be. Many times people just come in for the free books and don't return for another year. But I'd argue that the day is still a success. Greg Hatcher over at Comic Book Resources 'Comics Should Be Good' blog disagrees. He's got a point, I'll give him that, but I think that most of his trouble lies in the shop rather than the objective of the event. Maybe it's cliché, but comic shops aren't exactly the most welcoming place to a newbie. And unless you're prepared to argue why Sue Richards having a miscarriage was perfectly fine, but Sue Dibney getting raped went too far, then I suggest that you don't open your mouth at all the first time you enter a shop.

Need a better example? Think the Comic Book Guy on The Simpsons. He sums up comic book shop attitudes perfectly. This is who Greg Hatcher met at this local Seattle comic book shop, he met an unnamed generic slob who gets annoyed that these people giving him money are interrupting his 'Aquaman supporting cast vs. Keith Giffen creations' heroclix game. Of course that's going to turn people off from the shop, and probably comics in general. And it's a damn shame.

What Greg has to do is find a shop where the guys running it are not like that. They do exist, believe me. My local shop, Time Warp, is amazing. It's a very welcoming place, and the guys that work there are very helpful and knowledgeable. For them, FCBD should be a success. I remember when I entered the shop last Saturday there were more kids in there than I ever saw visiting his shop before. And since Time Warp offers a nice selection of kids books, I'd hope that these kids will be back.

Anyway, I picked up 5 books on FCBD, most of which were stuff that I was sampling for the first time. Were they successful in getting me hooked? Let's see:



Bongo Sampler 2007—Bongo Comics—by Evan Dorkin, Eric Rogers, et al.

Bongo is the publisher that puts out the Simpsons and Futurama comics, and so this is a mix-match sampler of those two titles. Prior to this I had never read a Simpsons or Futurama comic, but I considered the Simpsons' first 11 seasons to be one of the best runs on television, and Futurama to be it's (albeit short-lived) successor. I figured maybe their comic still lives up to what the show used to be (and the fact that Evan Dorkin was writing some stories in it was definitely a push in the right direction).

Well, I'm sorry to say that I was very disappointed with this book. Not only was it not funny, but also at times it seemed like the writers didn't even have a good grasp on the characters that everyone should know by heart. Ok, maybe I've been watching too much of my Simpsons Season 5 DVDs and I'm demanding something that can't exist in that form anymore, but if I were trying to get into either Simpsons/Futurama comics, or their TV equivalents, this certainly wouldn't do it. Not recommended.



The Amazing Spider-Man—Marvel Comics—by Dan Slott and Phil Jimenez

Here is a book that I was very worried about. Over the last few years Spider-Man has become a perversion of the character we all used to love. Writers don't understand him, and try to make him darker than Daredevil. None of this ever works. I had heard that this was going to be an in continuity story where Mary Jane joins with the Initiative (don't ask) and becomes a superhero known as Jackpot. Thankfully most of that was very wrong. The story isn't in continuity, has no mention of Civil War or the Initiative, or even past continuity. A new villain is made for the main plot of the book (with a few old ones popping up in The Bar With No Name), and we are introduced to old characters as if a new reader could instantly understand their characterization. If I have never read a Spider-Man story before, after reading this I would know perfectly well who J. Jonah Jameson is, Aunt May, Spider-Man, Robbie Robertson, and even the New York City police. The only character who may not be explained fully well for newbies is Mary Jane Watson, who yes, is the "new superhero" Jackpot (at least we think). And as ridiculous that is, it works in the story.

This book is the perfect story to get people interested in Spider-Man. I feel bad for anyone who now goes to pick up the next issue of ASM though…it isn't anything like this. This is how a good Spidey story is suppose to be, the preview in the back for "One More Day" is exactly how it isn't. Recommended.



Gumby—Wildcard Inc—by Shannon Wheller, Rick Geary, Bob Burden, Mark Bode, Steve Oliff, and Mike Hersh.

I know you're all possibly calling me insane right now, but hear me out. This book was awesome.

For those that don't know, there has been a revival of the Gumby book going on recently written by Bob Burden and Rick Geary. Burden as you know (or should) was the guy who created The Flaming Carrot and the Mystery Men (yes, the guys in that Ben Stiller movie). And if you've ever read Flaming Carrot, you'll know that Burden is one sick motherfucker.

He takes his wacky vision to Gumby, and with it has created one of the most surrealistic mind trips I've read since Grant Morrison's Doom Patrol. In this story Gumby and Pokey visit an art museum. There, they witness the Blockheads trying to steal the Mona Lisa, so to thwart them, Gumby jumps into a bunch of paintings, and interacts with the works of Rembrandt, Munch, Van Goeh, R. Crumb and etc etc etc. It's fucking brilliant.

I haven't given this Gumby book the time of day prior to reading this, despite everyone telling me how good it is. Now, I must say, I'm hooked. I'll be picking up the next trade. Insanely recommended.



Nexus—Rude Dude Productions—by Mike Baron and Steve Rude.

Prior to reading this I had already preordered the new Nexus mini-series out of previews. I really didn't know that much about Baron and Rude's creation, but I figured I'd give it a try do to everyone's suggestions. This issue is basically a recap of Nexus' long publishing history. It's kind of useless though. Yes, it is full of nice artwork, and good writing, but I didn't get a feel for the character at all. He kills mass murders…ok, I already knew that. That seems to be the only information that this brief history gives. It was more along the lines of 'what are Mike Baron's favorite pieces of writing' rather than what do readers need to know about Nexus. I'm sure Nexus is a great series, but this book wouldn't make anyone interested in it. Not Recommended.



Unseen Peanuts—Fantagraphics Books –by Charles Schulz.


This is a collection of all the Peanuts strips that never made it into collections prior to the recent "Complete Peanuts" books. For most of these, there is a reason for it. Some are just plainly unfunny; others completely work counter to the characters, and yet others just don't make sense. Somehow though this is all a benefit for the book. Looking at the strips that Schulz pretended never existed is a fascinating study into his mind. Not everything I've ever read from Peanuts has been hysterical, but it really shows what type of man Schulz was that he'd print a strip with a bad pun as it's joke, but not a fairly clever strip making a dark joke about war. It's interesting. Recommended.

The Media and Captain America

I just typed a whole long blog post only to lose it. I'm kinda pissed right now, so it might come out in this article that I now need to retype.

Anyway, if you haven’t heard already (and that means that you have been shunning every major news outlet) Captain America #25 came out today, and Cap is dead. He was shot by a sniper. Woopie.

Now, I'm not pissed that Marvel killed off one of my favorite characters, no...I'm sure that Ed Brubaker (the current writer of Cap) will be able to make good stories surrounding this and make the title work just as well as he had in the past. (Brubaker is one of the best comic book writers out there today, so I don’t have any doubts).

No, what I'm pissed at is the media reaction to Cap's death. The CBS News at Noon put my contempt best when they introduced the article: "First it was Superman, and now, Captain America is dead."

Yes, Superman...who died in the early 90s, and then came back less than a half a year later...I guess the media hasn't learned anything since those days...back then the New York Times was embarrassed when they placed this comic book event on their front page with the headline: "Superman Dead!". I quote DC Comics own Bob Rozakis on his reaction to seeing the Times: "I was looking at it thinking: Are they serious? Do they think this is real? Do they think we'd really permanently kill off our best selling character for good?" And sure enough, as was always the plan, Superman was back only a few issues later. I guess he wasn't quite dead yet.

No comic company would kill off their most popular characters (and even when they had the very misguided sense to even try this, it usually backfired with fans reacting in ways no one ever thought possible, i.e. The Spiderman Clone Saga). And yes, I know DC has killed off characters and replaced them many times before, but there is a major difference between killing permanently an icon like Superman, Batman or Wonder Woman, and making Rene Montoya the new Question. (and yes, I know that DC has successfully killed off and replaced popular characters such as Green Lantern, The Flash and Green Arrow, but there were different circumstances in place there: Barry's book was already cancelled, They always planned on bringing Hal back, and Ollie cheated on Black Canary, so no one cared). Captain America isn't a B-lister along the lines of Green Arrow, no...he's one of Marvels signature characters. Along with Spiderman and the Hulk, he is their icon. There's no way he's dead. And the media should know that by now.

If the past jumping to conclusions with Superman wasn't good enough, here are some other reasons why thinking Cap is forever dead might not be a smart move:

Firstly, Marvel is making a movie of Captain America probably next year. Now, it would be completely ignorant of Marvel to have a movie about a character that no longer exists. When some new fan goes to see the movie and says "hey, that was great, I wonder what the comic book is like" and goes to the store only to find out that Steve Rogers isn't Captain America anymore, do you think he will be happy? Do you think he would buy that comic? No. Never. Whenever a movie comes out for a character, the comic always returns to the status quo! They always have the iconic portrait of the character in the book when getting new fans is possible. Hell, they even brought back an ongoing Ghost Rider book with Johnny Blaze in the drivers seat just in time for the new movie...and Ghost Rider hasn't been popular (or able to sustain an ongoing book) since the 90s comic boom.

Here's another reason: Cap's book is still an ongoing. The book isn't over, Brubaker is still writing it, so, it's likely that he isn't dead. Now, I know this isn't as good a point as it could be...Green Arrow's book continued after Ollie died in issue 100...they just made his son the new Green Arrow (it would take quite a few years, and Kevin Smith with a good story, for Ollie to return from the dead), but more than likely, when an ongoing title goes on, the character is probably still around in some capacity...especially in Cap's case when they haven’t named any successors yet.

But lets go back to what exactly they said on the News At Noon. Just when you thought they couldn’t get any stupider, the anchors had to converse with one another: "Is there any word yet on why they did this?" "No, no one is saying any reasons why yet..." WHAT? Is the noon edition of the news too early to do any research? Ask anyone with even any fading knowledge of comic books today and they can tell you he died because of Marvel's "Universe Changing Event" Civil War. I mean, c’mon, even DC people know that one...but wait, it get's worse:

"No, No one is saying any reasons why yet. The creator of Captain America is 93, I guess he just got tired with the character."...{silence after I heard that...} A simple internet search brings me to Captain America's wikipedia page, in which I am able to tell you that Captain America was created in 1941 by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby. Kirby died almost fifteen years ago, and Simon hasn't been in the comic business since the 70s. Reading a little further down on the page, one could figure out that the current writer of the book is one Ed Brubaker, and clicking on his link, one could read that he is very active in comics today, and no where near 93 (the 93 year old is Joe Simon). In fact, the information of the current writer can even be found on the cover of the comic in question...clearly, the names Joe Simon or Jack Kirby do not appear there (they might appear on the mast head inside the book with the words "Captain America created by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby", I will give them that). Anyway, this information is readily available, and for that blatant showing of a lack of reporting skills to go on air...honestly what the hell? Did they think they didn’t need to fact check because it was a comic book story? Is that why they made it a top story? They should take a look at Jonathan Hickman's book for Image, "The Nightly News" . That might scare them enough to do a report on it.

To CBS' credit, they did seem to get most of their facts straight for their five o'clock edition...even calling Marvel editors Tom Brevhort and Joe Quesada out on doing this just for the money. At least there's still some integrity in reporting. (and if anyone saw the CBS five o'clock news article, I did find it hysterical that reporter Pablo Guzman was dressed as incognito as he could in trench coat and fedora as he stood outside of Midtown Comics).

Anyway, I avoided talking about the ending to Marvel's Civil War because I didn't want to alienate the few readers I have of this blog (hey Steph and Carsi! lol), but since this is about my contempt for the news media, I figure I'll let it slide right now.

I was one of the few that actually thought the ending to Civil War was appropriate, and was not a cop out by Marvel. Yes, it was anti-climatic, and yes, in my opinion, the bad guys won, and yes, it certainly puts a twist on everything, but as Joss Whedon put it, it's basically the way it has to end. Cap's team had no real strategy other than round up all the cool heroes and fight all the heroes I don’t give a damn about. Which, yes, is pretty cool as it is, but it's not a plan. Now, I'm not defending the whole series of Civil War. I think there was more to be desired through much of the series. The fact that they didn’t have a clear plan is one of the biggest errors in the whole thing. Also the fact that no one questions how Mar-Vell is still alive, or why the prisoners in the negative zone were never taken out of their costumes.

But now I have another problem. If they were going to kill Cap as a result of Civil War, why wait till two weeks after the Civil War to do it. Wouldn't it have been a lot easier for him to die during the event, rather than in a book that maybe not everyone who read Civil War might buy? Maybe I answered my own question earlier when I said that he might be back...I think the fact that it's happening in Cap's own book is a clear sign that this isn't a death as much as a way to go underground.

I haven’t read the book yet (I wait for the trades when it comes to Captain America), but did they officially pronounce him dead? Were the people who did that official doctors? Could there be more than meets the eye here? This could be his way to get him to the underground, and away from the media spotlight, having everyone think he's dead. I guess we'll see in upcoming issues.

Originally I guessed that Cap, since he was arrested, might become the new leader of The Thunderbolts. That would have made for an interesting issue. But alas, I guess not. Another idea I had was that the government might do what they did so long ago and get another person to be Captain America while the Steve Rogers version works the underground with the New Avengers. Or at the very least, get USAgent (who supported the registration) to be the government's Cap again. It makes sense. The other obvious choices were the Winter Soldier (formerly Bucky) or The Punisher. Bucky is probably the most obvious choice since the next issue seems to focus on him, and Brubaker kind of brought him back from the dead, so he's sort of responsible for him. Punisher might be because he was the one who picked up Cap's mask at the end of Civil War. Actually, having both of them be rival Captain America's would be pretty damn cool.

Ok, I'm done ranting about this. Cap seems dead now, but I bet he isn't. No one ever stays dead in comics. Get back to your life.

My Road To NY Comic Con 2007

Note, this should have gone up Saturday, but I was really tired after I came home, so it goes up now.



After waiting 3 months and regretting not going last year for even longer, today, Saturday the 24th, I finally made the trip to the New York Comic Con. Comic Con, while primarily a comic book convention, is a huge pop culture festival, with representatives from movies, TV, comics, video games, anime, manga, and more present. As far as I know this is one of the most important festivals in the field, only paling in comparison to the huge annual San Diego gathering (which I have yet to go to…maybe one day…). Anyway, here's a recap of my day:

The festival started at 10 AM today, with people being checked in as early as 9AM. Of course this means I rolled out of bed at 8:30, expecting to beat the early rising crowd (those fools). I unfortunately was going alone, because Pete DiSilvio made up some excuse about being broke…you know Pete, Oliver Queen was broke too, and did he give up? No, he dated Black Canary.

Anyway, I still had hope that at the festival I would run into one of the many Nonsensers that were also going, and hopefully I wouldn't be alone the whole time.

So, I arrive at the Javitz Center around 11:00, with the perfect amount of time to make the DC panel at noon…at least I thought. To my horror the line to get in was spanning a five-block radius from the building. Perfect. "Don't worry, it's moving fast" the security personal said. Meanwhile an hour later, I'm still on the line. Well, forget about that Noon panel…I guess I'll read what happened in it at Newsarama. If it weren't for the on-going witty comments coming from the couple behind me about the monstrous line, I don't think I would have kept my sanity. Thank you mystery couple, you made me laugh numerous times, even though you don't know me, and you probably thought my odd laughter was creepy, and an obvious sign that I was ease dropping on you. Sorry.

So, finally I get into the building a little after 12. I'm not sure what the line was for exactly, since they didn't scan my ticket or anything, the security guard barely looked at it and sent me along. I hope the line out of the building isn't that long as well…

At first entrance onto the main floor, I'm completely overwhelmed by…everything. All around me are booths full of people who probably could tell me incredibly obscure facts about forgotten comics like the exact issue number that Beefeater first appeared in Giffen's JLE (it's #20, contrary to what is written on wikipedia. I have the damn issue). Not to mention the crowd. If there were at least 500 people on that line waiting, there was at least quadruple that inside the place. I felt like I was sleepwalking while shifting through the aisles and past the clusters of people with witty T-shirts. I pass at least 3 Stormtroopers and two Supergirls, one of which had no business being dressed up like Supergirl. Lines formed out of nowhere for artist and writer signings. I've never seen people rush to a line so quickly just to spend 2 minutes telling one man how much you loved their work and for them to hand you back your comic now officially unreadable because of a bunch of illegible big marker letters written across the front of it. I made my way to the back of the floor, staring at all the booths in front of me with disbelief. The number of independent retailers selling comics from "The Golden Age" or shitty copies of bootlegged videos astounded me. One seller had a bootleg DVD set of "Heroes" labeled "The Compete First Season." "But the first season isn't even over yet…" "Well, it's every episode up until the last one, and it's $60. I can bring it down to 50, but that's it." I could also watch all the episodes free online.

I started counting the number of girls I saw dressed like Harley Quinn. There had to be at least 7, including one girl who didn't look any older than 7. Harley was probably the second most popular costume there, only trumped by the aforementioned Supergirls. Wow were there a lot of Supergirls. If the past serves any purpose, it's that I've learned that there are a good number of girls who don't like comic books, and think conventions like this are only for geeky nerds, but honestly, at one point, I'm almost positive there were more girls than guys in the building. And I mean gorgeous girls…any stereotypes people had about girls that like comics could have been broken by just stepping foot in the place. Wow.

WARNING, Rant starting: Now, I'm not even counting the girls that were working booths, many of whom were clad in absolutely nothing. I'd never thought I'd say this, but that actually offended me…me! I mean, these girls are obviously trying to appeal to a stereotypical portrayal of the male comic book nerd, you know, the porn addict who melts at the sight of a pretty girl talking to him…and well, I thought it was a little wrong. The fact that some of these girls were walking around handing out fliers trying to convince people to buy stuff from their booth while only wearing what looked like body paint really pissed me off. I couldn't believe it. I mean, there was a Playboy playmate there at the convention signing autographs or something, and she was dressed quite well…much better than these girls. You know, I'm just going to stop complaining about this, because I'm probably just shooting myself in the foot here…either that or you're all going to think I'm gay. Rant over.

Anyway, after I found a bathroom, because I had drunk too much water, I started wandering through Artist Alley. In the booth marked "Jimmy Palmiotti" sat J.G. Jones. This was confusing to both myself and apparently him, since at times he was telling lesser-informed fans that he was Jimmy Palmiotti. Jones has been doing amazing work as the cover artist of 52, and well, I wanted to tell him that (and now I'm starting to understand those fanboys rushing for autographs earlier). So I approached him and said "Now what is JG Jones doing in the booth that is marked for Jimmy Palmiotti?" To which he replied by saying the exact thing back to me, in an exaggerated version of my voice "That's my best impression, sorry." Wow. J.G. Jones just mocked me. Anyway, this developed into a very interesting conversation about how I loved the 52 cover that was Batman fighting the dragon, and how apparently I'm the only one who understood that was a reference to the famous St. George fighting the dragon and was representing Batman fighting his inner-demons. (I don't believe I'm the only one who got this, but that's what he said.) I also asked him if that was a clue for upcoming issues of 52, if that means Batman will be fighting Richard Dragon? "No, but that's a good interpretation of that."

After J.G. Jones I found the creators of "Action Philosophers!" where I had another very interesting conversation, which resulted in me jokingly threatening to sue them if their comic wasn't good. I'm such a jokester me…

Wondering around trying to find some of the Nonsensers, I went through a bunch of the booths. The Cheerleader from "Heroes" was signing autographs, as was Gary Coleman. I got pictures with Kyle Baker and Chris Claremont(who I also managed to piss off), as well as tell Rags Morales that he draws a great Black Canary. Jimmy Palmiotti (finally at his booth) drew a quick sketch of Jonah Hex for me and signed it. That was cool. I stopped by the "Masters of Horror" booth, and had a poster signed by all 6 directors there, including John Landis. This was kinda funny because I told Landis that even though this was a Masters of Horror booth, I preferred his comedies like The Blues Brothers and Animal House, to which the director next to him (I'm sorry, but I don't know his name) said jokingly "Well, fuck you man" and signed the poster "Fuck You Billy". That was awesome.

Bill Plympton signed an autograph for me, and I had a fun conversation with one of his, I guess assistants about the costumes some people were wearing to the convention. "I'm shocked that I've only seen one Slave Leia" I said. "Yeah, and no Black Canarys." (I know, I know). Past the aforementioned top two costumes of Supergirl and Harley Quinn, there were quite a few assorted Jedi walking about, as well as an abundance of people dressed like Anime characters. It's interesting to try and comprehend the dedication some of these people have to Anime characters, and their desire to look exactly like them, no matter how unhuman the character might look. I mean some of them had white paint above their eyes just to make them look bigger; and the amount of gel and coloring in some peoples' hair… Honestly, humans don't look like that for a reason. Becoming a carbon copy of your character doesn't work. Though it does a certain surreal aspect to the whole thing…hell, looking at the crowd at an event like this is like getting a lesson in post-modernism.

Other than them there were some really cool costumed people wandering around. There was a Superman and Batman that looked like what would happen if Alex Ross drew real people (that's not a compliment by the way). There was a Blue Beatle, a Flash and a Green Lantern, all of which I got a picture with. At least three Spidermans, all in different versions of his costume. A really cool Poison Ivy and Harley Quinn combo. A 30-year-old man trying to be Aqualad, skin tight clothes and messed up wig and all. Honestly, he looked like a transvestite in that getup (and Aqualad's a guy!). There was also a skin tight Aquaman running around with very visual nipples. I wonder if it was Joel Schumacher. Boba Fett didn't seem out of place at all, and neither did an almost perfect looking Jean Grey/Phoenix. But the best costume there had to go to a man dressed as the Golden Age Vigilante. Now that's an original costume. Honestly, who would want to be the Vigilante? Who would think to be The Vigilante? That guy's officially entered my book of cool.

Oh, and there was also Skelator. An out-of-work Skelator. Awesome.

During my conversation with Bill Plympton's aide (and Plympton himself at intervals), another fan came up and asked if Plympton could draw him a picture of a man fighting a shark. Apparently, he's asked every artist there to draw a picture of a man fighting a shark, and he's trying to fill up a whole sketchbook of it. This man has just made my official cool list as well. Plympton's aide went on to tell us about how last year someone had every artist draw a picture of Marvel Comics Tigra (I assume even if they are from DC). I didn't even know there were Tigra fans. I didn't even know Tigra was still alive until I saw her used in "Civil War". That guys cool too, cause now he has a whole sketchbook of Tigra drawn by different artists.

I kept on checking Keith Giffen and Peter David's booths at Artist Alley, but they never showed up. I wanted to go meet Paul Dini but I never got around to it. I was really tempted to go up to Rob Liefeld and tell him that I love his work and I would love it if he drew me a picture of Captain America, you know, the one with the insanely large muscles, but I figured I wouldn't be able to keep a straight face while saying it, and the joke would be ruined. There was a table set up for Opie and Anthony and Ron and Fez, but none of them were at the table. That was disappointing. Jim Shooter had a table too…I'm not sure why.

After searching for him all day, I finally found the DC comics Sandwich board guy, and got my "Jimmy Olsen Must Die!" and "WWMMD?" pins. That being my final accomplishment of the day, I began to get ready to head home. As I'm walking out, I see Art Tebbel, Editor-In-Chief for Nonsense, (one of the Nonsensers I had been looking for all day.) Figures, I only find him as I'm leaving.

It was a fun day at the convention. I bought some nice comic books (I finally have every copy of "Chase"!), and I met some great comic book creators. Plus I have a picture with me and that guy dressed as Vigilante. That's so cool.

Late Night Ramblings

It's late, I'm sick, fuck spell check, I just have some random opinions and thoughts.

You wanna know what's weird...I just had a conversation with my Dad about Borat. That wasn't the weird part...the weird part was that he was able to quote bits from him verbatim. I had no clue my Dad knew who Borat or Sascha Baron Cohen even was. I've never seen him watch Da Ali G Show...does HBO show episodes of it at like 4 in the morning? That's the only time that I'd think he'd watch it...I don’t know. It just surprises me.


Alright, I just watch Revenge of The Nerds again. The last time I saw the movie had to be like 5 years ago, and just like I remembered, it was stupid, yet entertaining and funny. Something else I realized about it though: While a stupid college-teen comedy, it possesses a genius concept: Have a social commentary on racism, but instead of white people discriminating against blacks, have it be Nerds. Look at all the tell-tale signs--The Alpha Beta bad guys are all pure white (as are their Sorority counterparts); the Nerds are a amalgamation of every group from society that has ever been called an outcast, an outsider, or different in any way; The Nerds join up with the Tri-Lams, which is an all-black Frat, and they accept them; The Alpha Betas burn the word "Nerds" in front of their house (ala a cross), and throw bricks though their windows telling them to go away; plus much more.

Now, I know I'm not making points that haven’t already been brought out before, but that's not the point...what I really wanted to say about the movie was what pissed me off about it--specifically that the hot girl, Betty, decides to dump her jock Alpha-Beta boyfriend for a Nerd, just because he's good in bed. Now, aren't the Nerds suppose to be smart? Doesn't Lewis realize that she's just using him for sex and that she feels no feelings toward him what-so-ever? Maybe he just doesn’t care? Anyway, that's one hell of a message to send: Girls like you only for sex. That's almost as bad as the end of Grease: If you want to get the guy, be a slut.
Now that I think about it, if they were making a race commentary with that scene as well, then it is both hilarious and ridiculously offensive. It's hilarious because the stereotype of black men having huge dicks is being saddled with Nerds are good at sex and that by just having sex with a black man/Nerd, the white girl will instantly regret any previous sex with someone of less quality. You know, "Once you go black, you never go back"? That thing. It's offensive though because basically the movie says that that's the only reason why a hot girl would fall for a Nerd or white girl fall for a black guy. Apparently they have no other redeeming qualities.

I just finished reading Mark Evanier and Sergio Aragones' Fanboy graphic novel. It was pretty damn good. If you're a comic book nerd, or a fan of DC comics or of most of the classic artists, then you need to pick it up. It's hilarious, and true (mostly).

Being sick has allowed me to watch two classic cult shows that I never got the chance to really watch before hand. The Diana Rigg version of the Avengers and the original Star Trek. Now, I've seen both these shows before, but I guess I just never cared enough about either to really look at them and give them a chance. My Dad had a few VHS cassettes of the British spy show the Avengers, so I figured I might as well watch them while I'm sick (since Netflix suspended my account temporarily), since I can't really do anything else. I know that Patrick McNee's John Steed was a regular in the cast for almost the entirety of the show (a few first season episodes aside) and that he even came back for the short lived 1970s revival, but his (mostly) female counterparts changed quite a few times during the show’s 1961 to 1969 run. The most well known of his partners, and my favorite (and apparently my Dad's favorite too since he doesn't have an episode with anyone else) was the beautiful Diana Rigg as Emma Peel. The sexual tension between the two was the highlight of many episodes, especially the ones that boarder lined on plain silly in concept (super-intelligent robots taking over Parliament to make decisions for us? C'mon). Now while I have seen a few episodes with other female leads (Rigg's predecessor Honor Blackman being one), I really just can't imagine the show without the Steed/Peel chemistry. These two worked so well together; they acted like lovers but never got into bed (at least on camera)...that was the kind of mistake that ruined great shows like Moonlighting and the X-Files (well, bad writing and Robert Patrick ruined that). When the two leads finally do sleep together, you ruin all the sexual tension, and all the reasons for tuning in. Frankly, I could care less about Maddie and David after they fucked on Moonlighting. And Mulder and Scully...in that final episode when they kissed...no! For a show that's about the unexpected, that was the thing that everyone was expecting, but no one wanted! Anyway, check out some Emma Peel era Avengers.

Oh, I just realized Emma Peel is a pun. Emma Peel=M Appeal, or better known as MAN Appeal. Something Diana Rigg certainly had.

Now the original Star Trek. I like to thank TV Land for airing a marathon of the show, so I could finally watch some episodes. I have to say, I did enjoy them. I'm surprised how many episodes did not even take place in space, as well as how many actually had ironic morals for the real world (so many episodes were meant to make you think of the current situations and events of the 60s in a new light). The episode "City at the End of Time" was probably one of the best episodes I watched and made me laugh quite a few times. I was shocked. Now what does this make me. I'm certainly not a Trekkie. I'm also not running out to buy the show on DVD. I still say Star Wars is better too. It's a shame there's a stigma attached to Star Trek.


Michael Richards racist outbursts at the LA comedy club The Laugh Factory might have been the funniest things to come out of a LA Comics mouth ever.

Also since when does Michael Richards do stand up? I mean, I know his career was in the shitter, but stand up? Can't Weird Al make another movie or something?

Movies I still havent seen, but want to:
Casino Royal
Borat
The Fountain
The Departed

Maybe when I get money.

That new trailer for Spiderman 3 looks amazing. I can't wait for that movie. I hate Venom, and I never thought a movie with him would work, but Goddamn, it looks like Sam Raimi did it right. And friggen Sandman looks awesome!

Ok, that's it. I can hear my TV playing the theme song to Innuasha*, so I know I'm up too late. I can't breath through my nose, but I'm gonna try to sleep anyway.

*How the hell is it spelt anyway?